retrogradownloadlinks+

"retrograde: stories & images" is a collection of previously published visual art worx. please see the back page [the one on the left] for details. it's up for free download.

shameless monstrous plug

thank cthulhu. two of my artworks shall appear at the [monsters and the monstrous] journal, published by [the inter-disciplinary press]. here's the september 2010 cover image from their [page].

below is the full list of articles and artworks and other stuff included in the journal's vol.2 num. 1 may 2012 special issue themed [monstrous memory]:

shameless plagued komikon

my short silent komix "dharmachine delusions" is part of this anthology:

there's the cover, and below is the text i've found on the feed:

constrained 24-hour comics

never expected i'd succeed (or so i thought) with this challenge, and finish it about half the time. flipreads spearheaded the 24-hour komixathon event. from 1200 of the 19th of May to 1200 of the 20th. from the 24 constraints or themes, i chose seven and added my own regulation--all of which i shall explain in this post, risking being defensive. you may flee from my ramblings though, and opt to [view my 8-page comic], or visit the [komixathon homepage], to view other entries.

a glance at venus [i]

*glances at venus are fractions of

portraits of phantasms of goddesses*

mothermats day, article in press

the women's month  slash gender themed march-april issue of u.p. forum shall, hopefully, be in print this coming week. my article is about tandang sora and mothers and related matters. it shall also have illustrations of yours truly. one that i'd like to call LGTButterfly, another a yinyang thing.

meanwhile, an advanced happy mothermats day to you

isang pang-habang-buhay na saglit (isang interpretasyon ng tula ni maningning miclat) + ilang pakikiramay ngayong umaga

tulad ng nabanggit ko [kahapon], nakaiskor ako sa bargain bin sa vargas museum ng voice from the underworld: a book of verses ni maningning miclat. at, nabanggit ko rin [ilang kahapon na ang nakalipas] na magha-hiatus ang carcosite, pero medyo mahirap palang hindi magkaroon ng labasan ng buntonghininga, kaya eto at nagbabalik ang inyong lingkod sa pagdaragdag ng polusyon sa cyberspace, bagamat napapanindigan pa naman ang pananahimik sa social networking sites.

karamihan sa mga berso na nasa nabanggit na kuleksyon ay may salin sa english at chinese ng mismong makata. mas "interpretasyon" ang ginamit na termino, kaya ito na rin siguro ang gagamitin ko, at ang pinili kong piyesa ay yung hindi pa isinalin ng makata sa ikalawang kuleksyon niya ng mga tula. "To Catch a Second and Turn it to Forever" mula sa unang bahaging Leaving China ang napagdiskitahan ko. narito ang burador:

miclat's and jacinto's Cartilla

today, i am fortunate enough to score a poetry collection for thirty bucks. today marks the 115th death anniversary of the supremo, andres bonifacio. and today, which is not really the greatest day, but to some extent, it is, because of finding things i am not really looking for, i shall nevertheless share a poem from maningning miclat's book of verses, voice from the underworld. [oops, a kinda delayed commercial break: drawing bangungot (nightmare) was published at the philippine literary folio.]

maurice sendak tribute

a quick doodle slash update. mentioned in the previous post of the carcosite's supposed hiatus. failed. cannot help it. let me speak for a while to say: rest in peace where the wild things are. lame lines, i know. was thinking of treading unfamiliar ground with plans of following your footsteps.

farewell, maurice sendak. say hi to moebius. see you when i see you.

[read "maurice sendak: cannibals and psychotics" by neil gaiman [here]

[not really related, but read "100 ideas that changed graphic design" [here]

Repeat until fade [iv] Playlist: Telling Ghosts, etc.

"The more you take, the more you need; the more you suck, the more you bleed; the dead know better so listen to the letter; the more you suck the more you bleed," sings Maynard James Keenan, who also said in an article that he "has no interest in watering his product down for the masses." I wrote a poem mentioning him during the days of Mideo Cruz shenanigans, and this statement makes me feel like, I don't know, making me ask whether deep within my subconscious, I am, indeed, following him as a role model or otherwise. If I am already conscious of the possibility that I am unconsciously -- [The artwork above was done while cramming for the zine "Pseudocuments Volume One: Prose | Poetry | Pictures."]

-- no, rethinking philosophies, principles and all the fvcking bullcrap shall be postponed to another day, because this day, I shall try to stop taking and sucking to lessen the needing and the bleeding: I shall stop absorbing information right at this very moment and face whatever the fvck awaits me later this afternoon. Hope everything goes well, because my life plans, to some very hardcore extent, depends on what the shiznit later brings and how the consequences of what it brought conceive further aftereffects, and speaking of effects, I'll just go on and do what I am ought to do and leave you with shit from Trent Reznor and MJK. And Meshuggah, too:

Repeat until fade [iii] / International Women's Day

[source]

"To be aware of a threat is to reply to it." I cannot remember whether this line was from Neil Gaiman's Sandman or from Mike Carey's Lucifer but I am, somehow, certain that this line came from Mazikeen. Happinternational Women's Day! (I have thought of Arya Stark, but she has already been quoted in a [previous entry].)

[Can you guess who the inspiration / model is? If you cannot, then don't! error was published in the February 2012 issue of the UP Newsletter, with the article for Prof. Dennis Andrew Aguinaldo's lecture, "The Literary Appropriation of Science: Barthelme's Postmodern Fiction as a Possible Resource for UPLB."

I have also used a detail of error as one of the panels for the "Fragments: In Which We Are," a collaborative work written by Alyza and adapted / visually interpreted into comics form by yours truly and published by the Quarterly Bathroom Companion Comics Compendium peeps in the second volume.

To people who had the chance of reading our contribution, I hope you noticed some sort of semblance of the women in it to, you know, real existing women? But if you didn't, it is, of course fine. Drawing faces of women I admire is already a pleasure, anyway. And, I hasten to add that admiration does not really mean mere physical attraction, though that aspect, of course, counts. I think strength, as seen in Mazikeen and Arya, are among those which matter the most.

[google's logo tribute thing]

Salamat, at muli, Maligayang Pandaigdigang Araw ng mga Kababaihan!]

***

[PAHABOL!!! At the risk of preempting and shit, I plan to write at length about this issue. Sana, magawa before the week ends. Sana, actually, makapagdraft tonight! Central Electoral Board's Mark Lester Chico, by the way, is an alumnus of BUKLOD UPLB. Yung prinoklama nilang USC chairperson na si Joyce Divino (na natalo ni Ynik Ante) ay from BUKLOD UPLB. There, connect the dots. Plus, this [article], written by the Editor in Chief of the current UPLB Perspective that failed to live up to its supposed mandate as the flagship student publication of Southern Tagalog, stinks of propaganda, propaganda being derogatory in this sense! Yan, may glimpse na ng kung anong binabalak kong isulat na kahit hindi ko ata masulat e may ideya na ang ilan kung anong lalamanin nito. Agitating. Hanggang dito na lang muna. Magdiwang muna kayo / tayo, sa kabila ng mga kashitan.]

**international women's day in solidarity w chile update - march 9 **

[source]

[source]

**i thought this fangurling ended already. it should've ended**

What bloodless revolution?

[update | this artwork was published at the monsters and the monstrous journal, may, 2012]

This is Queen Inang Yellow, which existed on paper last year. This is among the many somethings that I am hesitant to release, but what the hell, now is the appropriate time and, thinking of it, it kinda reeks of Oedipal complex, as I look back at King Inang Yellow. This is how I see the so-called EDSA Revolution, which is not really to discredit the boost in morale that resulted into a show of force, a powerful force, by the Filipino people. This is also not a deliberate attempt to burst the bubble of those who see Corazon as a mother, a saint, or whatever reverence or fetish you have for that, er, madonna of the landed class, or mariang edsa. It's just that, this "power," this "yellow power" attributed to the yellow dynasty and what the heir to the yellow dynasty capitalizes on and utilizes, this "bloodless revolution" that his minions wanted to reenact tomorrow as testament to his revolt, or whatever the fvck he wants to call his crusade of saving the world despite his impotency, this delusion of "people power" seems overrated. Try asking yourselves, had there been any significant change? Those who nod are under the power of the image I present herein, a nightmare born of a dream, a symbol of "unfulfilled hopes*," a matriarch, so motherly you wouldn't feel her fatherly attributes, her tentacles. Oh, a song:

Again, this artwork is not new. Save for the first profit of doom, I have no new drawings yet, but I am determined to plan everything tonight so I can fulfill an intrapersonal promise. BTW, I have a sort of independent komiks slice of life journal entry thing [here]. (Memory does not just not serve me right, it is not serving me at all. Not sure whether I have posted this ikon somewhere. And, yes, I never run out of typographical errors. I've corrected a couple minutes ago. Andami kong shit. #endOfEntry)

(#startOfUpdate) Here's something posted by Cabring Cabrera of Datu's Tribe:

"People Power Picked a Pack of Pakshet People

A Pack of Pakshet People People Power Picked

If People Power Picked a Pack of Pakshet People,

Where's the Pack of Pakshet People People Power Picked?

Still in Power, People. (Pakshet.)\m/@@\m/"

Okay, trapik daw mamaya. Muli silang sasayaw sa bubog, at maglalakad ng tulog at muling mauuntog, ano, Chickoy Pura at The Jerks? Goodluck sa ating lahat.

*Pahabol: This does not, of course, mean I am for Marcos. I am simply reiterating that EDSA was made possible by the people, not by this political clan who stole the supposed victory and betrayed this supposed victory by, well, go watch Orapronobis or revisit history.

Yet Another Oath [BLTX]

[source]

Dear god, Better Living Through Xeroxography happens in less than a couple of weeks. The DIY, indie publishing, komix, poetry, fiction, zine, small press expo event gathering gettogether thing will be held on March 2, from 8pm to whenever, at Ilyong's Kalantiaw Cubao. I think there shall also be some sort of talk about indie publishing the following day. [see more posters / teasers / titles here] [see facebook event page here]

Here's the list of, er, apparitions / appearances. Copied the links from the curious couch: The Cabinet, Gelo Suarez, hal. journal, Heights, High Chair, Kubori Kikiam, Macoy, Omeng Estanislao, PANTAS (Pandayan ng Talino at Sining), Paper Monster Press, Patrick Rawwrr, QBCCC (The Quarterly Bathroom Companion Comics Compendium), Rob Cham, SSM (Silent Sanctum Manga), Tapat Journal, UP Writers' Club (UPWC), Youth and Beauty Brigade, and Zigzag Animals. BTW, if you are interested in showing up and selling your parapharnalia, email Adam David at juncruznaligas@gmail.com. Til friday ata pwede magpasabi.

[source]

As drought sucks the life force and the drive and the high and the essence out of me, I am only certain of one title to sell: Ang Sandatahang Banga. At the risk of preempting, I am preparing a prose poetry collection. If it sees the light of the day, and, of course, the light of the photocopying machine, prior the 2nd of the 3rd month, then it shall be available. Publications that might be available at BLTX that include [might include? might? kidding lang. may confirmation naman na, i think.] my works are: Hundred Loves (UPWC), Dream Pop Issue (PMP?), Blinds Tomo IX (PANTAS), The Words Get in the Way: An Erasures Anthology (YBB?), and, of course, Volumes 1 & 2 of QBCCC. Sana wala akong nalimot banggitin. I'll leave you with this super lovely truth:

QBCCC #2 Posters / Launch

***updated - 12.14.2011 - poster by josel nicolas***

Contributing creators:

Adam David - Alan Balisi - Alyza Taguilaso - AJ Bernardo

Angelo Reynaldo - Angelo Suarez - Angelo Tobias

Apol Sta. Maria - Benjamin Bartolome - Christian Kaw

Dark Chapel - Fidelis Tan - Ian Quirante

Hub Pacheco - Jimmuel Magat - Jobert Cruz

Macoy - Mica Agregado - Nica Silva

Nikki Calma - Noel Pascual - Powil Guzmanos

Ricardo Guiao - Teddy Pavon - Tilde Acuña

Covers:

JP Cuison - Laraine Gazmen - Manix Abrera

Editors:

Josel Nicolas - DJ Legaspi

Design / Layout:

Mervin Malonzo

150 pages? 2 volumes! 4 covers! December 17, 2011! Sputnik, Cubao X!

[event page]

poster by yours truly

by apol sta. maria

by teddy pavon

by jobert cruz

by dark chapel (SSM)

by benjamin bartolome

by dominique santos

by josel nicolas

by adam david

by dj legaspi

by mervin malonzo

by macoy

by aj bernardo

Shots of Postcards and the Mugshot. That Mugshot.

***Walanghiya, wala nang bukas kung maka-shameless plug alert! at, hindi,

hindi ho ako nakadaang komikon! di naman daw masaya! di ako bitter!***

[source]

Glad that photographs [Melissa Abuga-a's photo album here] landing on my news feed informed me (hehe, I was informed, oops, tama na, cyber bullying is a cyber sin!) that my artworks are

[source]

fortunate enough to reach Cambodia, printed on postcards as part

[source]

of Piya Constantino's be/longing project for the Angkor Art Explo,

[source][this one's by Iggy Rodriguez; if you happen to have a copy of the komix Lihim ng mga Lespu, the Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo effigy photographed on the cover and the Lakbayan scene was designed, if I am not mistaken, by Rodriguez and the Ugatlahi Artist Collective. And, oh, let's end this brief entry with a mugshot, as I want to paint smiles on the faces of you visitors:]

[source says "(www.inquirer.net, photos taken from mugshots.com by Ernie Sarmiento)"][news/update] Now, back to cramming a lot of things. Thanks for dropping by. Must stay away from social-networking sites for a couple of days.

Pandora's Boxes [xi]: The "111111 = 6 crowbars x subconscious and more" post

Er.. Believe it or not, I checked the previous "Pandora's Box(es)", and it is marked "[x]." Incidentally, it is--yes, it has been repeated a few, believe me, a very very very few times--11.11.11.11.11.

That's mm/dd/yy+hr:min, though the order does not really matter. And, oh, those are a lot of crowbars 1111111111 = ten (10) crowbars! Feel free to choose 1 and hit those motherfvckers with it! Pun intended! Lame pun, I know! (And, yeah, 11-11-11 was November 11, 1911 [I wonder, did they make a big fuss back then?], not this day, but to join the bandwagon, let's 111111!)

Let me then share with you what this post would like to recollect. As I've mentioned that I've been dreaming again in the previous post (that was also a post that kind of shamelessly plugs my entry [{this} is the link to the actual entry, or, search for the group "Dito sa Mundong Kiko" in Facebook and do what you want with your life, vote for my entry, for another entry, ignore this remark, whatever] into some sort of a contest but dont worry because I would not plague your feed with my plug as I would deactivate, again, my facebook account at approximately 3:33AM), and I consider most dreams as nightmares, and

no worse nightmare than the feeling of having a routine that makes life seem mundane. I have been feeling like a machine lately and I (re)connect or (re)relate this to the machine-man mishmash themes that I am often fond of. Such may be traced back as early as circa 2006.

The artwork herein was created waaay back. I was a computer science major. I had planned, haha, a series back then. I was young and ambitious, though now, I still try to go beyond what I thought I cannot, or so I thought--the difference is, I am not young anymore, as vital signs indicate deteriorating health, if not old age or both. Anyway,

at its inset is the "self" or the "character" in my entry for QBCCC volume one. And, another work in progress among piles of works remaining in progress has something to do with these things, with this recollection. That is all. Good day. Good 11.11.11.11.11.

Lengthy PS! This is also day when, as I've heard from the radio on the way home, Donaire was married. When asked why, he said because the number 111111 is lucky. When asked about his opinion regarding his wife wearing the wedding gown prior the wedding ceremony, he said he does not believe in superstition. Those statements are from the very same interview.

Is he delivering a punchline? Or-- I just don't ..get it (but, do I have to get it? Would I want to? Is it worth my time? Your time? Anyway!). Ugh, not worth thinking about, at least at this time. :L These evil, depressing, slash-other-people's wrists, hormonal times of anxiety.

PPS! As I've mentioned before, the september-october issue of UP Forum is up for [download]. Now, the articles have been uploaded, so, I'll update and link and all. My article on agri/cultural homogenization is [here], artworks [here], [here] and [here is a somewhat pixelated? pixelized? version]. Thank you.

Kiko ex Machina Dreams

I've emailed this to a contest, and I think it is quite obvious what the contest is all about. Hope they received my mail. It is a contest on Facebook where my account is only active when I am online. Just because. Because I am miserable. Kidding. Someone miserable cannot kid.

Anyway, this time, I would not campaign for my entry the way I spammed before (btw, I did not garner the most 'like' votes but the judges, who had 30% of the say, had mercy on me). Actually, I would not tell you to 'like' my entry at all, except in this post. I think one's final score depends on both the likes and the "vote" of Manix.

Another contest is another opportunity, or perhaps drive, to try being productive, as I have been otherwise the previous days. My system feels weaker. Stamina's not the same anymore. Way, way more powerless than before. Holy mother of the gods.

For some, sleep is something they yearn for--those insomniacs, and maybe junkies of all sorts who are having trouble sleeping. For me, sleep is something I'd rather not have. But on the average, I've spent at least six hours of this week's nights asleep--against my will, of course.

But hey, I've been dreaming again--or, maybe I am beginning to remember the dreams I had. Yet, I don't want dreams. I want to stay here. So, I'll try my best to not sleep tonight. It's 11.11.11 in a few.

SAMHAIN COUNTDOWN ends

finally. here they are. the final entries. samhain #04 is sammy in wonderland. samhain #s 03, 02, 01 are see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil [i][ii][iii]. today, 11/1/11, i shall bury a cyber projection. hope it remains dead for as long as i can keep it dead, but i am cynical about such burials. but, i sincerely want it dead for at least 15 days, and at most, forever.

inks fucking dry. literally. figuratively. feeling ill. creeping death everywhere. plagued w paranoia.

SAMHAIN COUNTDOWN 05

succubus [i]

[kelangan nang hamunin ang sarili at magsimula ng countdown at magdrawing ulet. hindi. hindi x days before xmas. samhain. 02 [?] days na lang, samhain na. fuck this, i failed at my own challenge. fuck this procrastinating all the fucking time i'm fucking pissed.]

SAMHAIN COUNTDOWN 06

seahorse [i]

[kelangan nang hamunin ang sarili at magsimula ng countdown at magdrawing ulet. hindi. hindi x days before xmas. samhain. 02 [?] days na lang, samhain na. fuck this, i failed at my own challenge. fuck this procrastinating all the fucking time i'm fucking pissed.]