Tuesday, July 12, 2011

CarcositeNewsNet: "Zalzaldy Could be Clean" says--

--the Yellow Kingdom

Mala-Canan is never closing its gates of tentacly salvation just yet to has-been Automatic Rifles of Manly Motherfuckery Region Governor Zalzaldy Amp's whoring of himself to commit an incestuous act by using his testicles testimony as dildo to buttsex his father and brother, and let both their heads roll as punishment for the gruesome (yet) Maguinoo Massacre.

The marionette of the King Inang Yellow's monarchy said Amp's pronouncements are "seemingly pretty buttfucked right now." He added, "You know, we can never can tell. Buttfucks can sometimes be used to assess the depth of fuckery."

"All we have to know is the truth. Remember that there are cults that achieve the truth through group sex that ends in orgasm, which then allows the cultists to see god," he elaborated and later furthered that buttsex could be an alternative to group sex. We didn't know why he was talking about sick, unthinkable things.

He also denied any deal or pimping or buttsex between King Inang Yellow, Arroyo and the Amps. "That sick thought of threesome among your masters, or anything better or worse, is just plain ridiculous," he said while flashing a finger that is dirtier than Ettaettaetta Rosalsales.

The marionette also mentioned that Zalzaldy, with the risk he is taking, needs "protection," thus the Fuck Responsibility Bill shall take the limelight again. He said, "Let us forget trivial things such as land reform and oil price hike. The FuckR Bill is needed of overpopulation, the root cause of poverty and all evil." We were not sure either if the Monarchy utilizes diversionary tactics again.

Protection? For Zalzaldy? That's fucked up, right? I mean why the heck would Zalzaldy need any protection? Is he a girl? With his crying on television as basis, there is a possibility. Pardon the unsolicited opinion. On with the news! Meanwhile, going further offtangent, Rosalsales, to make up for her castrated efforts against human rights violation, is happy meddling with petty things such as a mayor punching a sheriff and such. Demolitions are commonplace anyway. A public official hitting a constituent is an exotic delicacy for, well, publicity of CHR's 'achievements.'

--his Voyeur

Voyeur Bertho Valuenueva (BV) made it clear as the night skies from the deepest parts of R'lyeh that his client Zalzaldy shrugged off the prosecutors' persuasion of his buttfucking his brother and father. "Zalzaldy simply wants protection," BV said.

However, in a notarized open letter sent throughout the cosmos, even reaching Yuggoth as if lurking monstrosities care, Zalzaldy said he has the means to "nail and buttfuck the perpetrators to the ground like a common whore." We did not listen to BV anymore because he seems to speak in another sub-dialect of Olde Aklo pidginshit, so, we just asked another source.

Voyeur of the vicitms said that Zalzaldy's and BV's claims and fart knocking is preposterous and full of dogshit and catpoo, since "protection is only for those who may be impregnated, unless he fears that within his family lies sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes."

Oh, this is bullshit, btw. Distorted data from here and here.

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