CarcositeNewsNet: September Jumpstart

[source]

This is not really mock news. All of these happened. Or, I think it has. Being spontaneous, this is also something of a, say, machine gun post, as you would notice a lot of fillers, as if I am conversing with you. This is really nothing but an update that would probably not be of any help to your life. If you still want to read on, then, I'm game if you're game--

Ended the 31-day writing challenge of August with a fanfiction featuring a lost Spider Jerusalem wandering Metro Manila and writing about Professor Charles Xavier, King Mob / Gideon Stargrave and Lex Luthor. [read it here]

[source]

Started September printing Ang Sandatahang Banga komix. [details]

Sold the komix around elbi, then travelled the day after back home, then, to Quezon City, then, to Makati for the book launch, and some kinda underground komix transactions during the book launch, as if doing a counterculture against-the-flow thing, as komix and poetry seems like strangers to each other, coming from different worlds, in terms of recognition of literariness and mass production--though I think this notion is being crumbled one step at a time by local komix artists and writers, anyway, I did end up selling komix inside ayala museum, which feels, I don't know, it felt good. (And another memory flashed before my very eyes. Twas the Conference of Philippine Center of International PEN, and there I was leafing through a book, which was not just any other book--a photocopied book, ie, a reading for eng103 (critical writing class): Jessica Zafra's Twisted 7 [?], which we are to dissect, to criticize, and I did. It's like watching pirated DVD on some sort of a gadget that plays pirated DVDs--inside a movie house.) Para kang nagvavandal without actually-- Enough explaining. Hope you dig how I felt. Hehe. Anway, here's the [link] to the event, and here's the program, as lifted from the link:

Live music from

RADIOACTIVE SAGO PROJECT

CORPORATE LO-FI

VIGO

ANTHONY PIGGOTT & YNO+

AXEL PINPIN & THE PROPAGANDA MACHINE

Featuring:

Bienvenido Lumbera (National Artist for Literature)

Gemino H. Abad

Pete Lacaba

Teo T. Antonio

Ronaldo Carcamo

Ronan B. Capinding

Marra PL Lanot

Benilda Santos

Rebecca T. Anonuevo

Bebang W. Siy

Andrea B. Teran

Eliza Victoria

AND OTHER SURPRISE READERS

With the special participation of:

Ornussa Cadness

Mercedes Cabral

Shawn Yao

Gee Canlas

Jean Garcia

Roselle Monteverde

Brian Tenorio

Rox Puno

Nelson Canlas

Hosted by Sue Prado & Dakila Cutab

Free Admission.

UNDER THE STORM is a compilation of 150 poems from an eclectic mix of 150 Filipino poets: from the renowned and the known to the upcoming and the knowable. It surveys the landscape, explores the topography of the phenomenal, social, and lingual developments in contemporary Philippine Poetry. This is not simply a gathering of the intelligent. It is a harvesting of works by the willing and the devoted to the labor of crafting, the human turn, and the myriad possibilities of language (Edited by Khavn dela Cruz and Joel Toledo):

Abad. Abad. Abad. Abola. Abueg. Acosta. Acuña. Agustin. Aldaba. Alitaptap. Alma. Almero. Fojas-Almirante. Alonte. Alvarez. Alvarez. Ancheta. Angeles. Añonuevo. Añonuevo. Antonio. Aranal. Arguelles. Aquino. Azada. Bajarias. Balota. Baquiran. Barrios. Basmayor. Borlongan. Buenviaje. Cabato. Capili. Capinding. Carcamo. Carnice. Casaje. Casocot. Castro. Chancoco. Ching. Cimatu. Co. Cordero. Coroza. Cortez. Cui. Cutab. Dalisay. Damasing. Daoana. De Guzman. dela Cruz. De La Cruz. De La Cruz. dela Cruz. De Los Santos. De Mesa. de Paula. de Ungria. De Veyra. del Prado. Despi. Diaz. Diaz. Dimzon. Dollente. Dominguez. Dumdum. Evasco. Fagela. Fernandez. Francia. Gaba. Gamalinda. Garcia. Gervacio. Go. Gubat. Gulle. Gutierrez. Igloria. Imperial. Kilates. Kimpo. Kwan. Lacaba. Katigbak-Lacuesta. Lanot. Lao. Lao. Lazaro. Losaria. Lumbera. Manzano. Marcelo. Maranan. Maranan. Montalban. Nadera. Nicolas-Na. Novicio. Os. Oyzon. Pagliawan. Pagusara. Pandan. Parfan. Pastrana. Piocos. Pinpin. Quibilan. Reyes. Rillo. Rivas. Rodriguez-Tomlinson. Rosal. Rubino. Rueda. Sabilano. Saguid. Salud. Samar. San Diego. Santos. Serquiña. Sevilla-Simon. Sillada. Siy. Sulat. Sunico. Tablazon. Taguilaso. Teodoro. Teran. Torralba. Torre. Torres. Tuvilla. Umil. Urquico. Valencia. Valles. Vega. Victoria. Villafania. Villas. Yandug. Yuson.

Book Design by Piya Constantino | Cover Art by W Don Flores | 4th .MOV International Film, Music, & Literature Festival | September 1 to 6, 2011 | The Podium, Ayala Museum, Greenbelt 3 Park, & UP Film Center | www.movfest.org

Got my complimentary copy of the anthology, and happened to meet Paper Monster Press peeps. Complimentary copies of two new books, olde fellows and friends and new acquaintances, four destination points in a day, for someone who isn't fond of going out and who is kind of a stranger to the norms of social gatherings. That friday was something. Whether that was positive or negative, I would not know, but I know it felt good and I felt alive.

Watched Philippine Educational Theatre Association's WILLIAM the following day. [link] (For friends who may be waiting for the complimentary tickets, thanks to the HU ART DAW Shakespeare icon contest, please do wait for my message. Used the first five tickets for, haha, my family, as this is the first time I've, what's the term, "treated [?]" them. The tickets may be used til July 2012, I think. Anyway--)

[source]

The rap musical was kinda nice, even for someone like myself who has just watched (and somehow found entertainment in) fliptop last month and has no appreciation for hiphop, for reasons that aren't really reasons, maybe because of sheer preference BUT I think WILLIAM broke a lot of legs. As reviews have said, it was a new way of looking at Shakespeare. However, though it may sound like asking for too much from a rap musical intended for the general audience (andaming high school students), I kind of expected more, because the first play I've watched in PETA was Bertolt Brecht's THE THREEPENNY OPERA--something I've enjoyed a lot (and coincidentally, my "poem" for UNDER THE STORM anthology is an "erasure" of the Notes to The Threepenny Opera part of my copy of THE THREEPENNY OPERA).

In terms of content, I've waited for lines saying, or rather, implying, how fucked up the education system is, being colonial, commercialized and fascist--though yes, maybe, it had something to do with the expected audience being young but a brief "sigh" re: the colonial and/or commercialized characteristic would have been nice--or there was such and I was not paying attention. To cut short and to temporarily end (I'm quite unsure when the temporary end ends!) this mini-review, let me say that the, what was that called, "directorial concept," of both plays I've seen in PETA never failed to entertain, to inform, and to inquire. I think THREEPENNY's use of the padyak (the bicycle with a sidecar) and WILLIAM's use of the bangko (stool) worked very well, as it was executed very well. Would like to thank PETA for being accommodating. Twas nice that the compli tickets are VIP seats. Ended this day signing the conforme re: the said contest, eating somewhere, and going home with a satisfied appetite--not just because of good food, but because of the production.

Then, Sunday strikes with a storm amidst the relatively sunny (fuck yeah, twas really sunday!) day. What a way to end this blast with a cynical blast because of realizations I should have realized and I should have accepted. Things I can't talk about. Yak. Drama. Anyway, off to wherever. Something is gonna start soon. A lot still needs to be done. And to end with optimism, good thing that Monday brought good news. The Quarterly Bathroom Companion Comics Compendium was nominated for best cover [link] and for grassroot award [link], at the KOMIKON 2011 awards. Lifted this image from the link:

You may search the carcosite for the colored version of my QBCCC entry 5-minute matrescapist in reverse - 5MMiRV [You may start "reading" it here]. Collaborative komix w Alyza Taguilaso, Fragments in Which We Are-- [You may peek here] shall be in QBCCC #2, which shall be available at the next Komikon. QBCCC is edited by Josel Nicolas, DJ Legaspi and Mervin Malonzo (who made the cover for QBCCC#1).

For international solidarity with Chile, Tilde. (A lame effort to attention-whore. Yes, fangurling hasn't ended yet. Sorry if it bothers you. Thanks for dropping by.)

CarcositeNewsNet: "Zalzaldy Could be Clean" says--

--the Yellow Kingdom

Mala-Canan is never closing its gates of tentacly salvation just yet to has-been Automatic Rifles of Manly Motherfuckery Region Governor Zalzaldy Amp's whoring of himself to commit an incestuous act by using his testicles testimony as dildo to buttsex his father and brother, and let both their heads roll as punishment for the gruesome (yet) Maguinoo Massacre.

The marionette of the King Inang Yellow's monarchy said Amp's pronouncements are "seemingly pretty buttfucked right now." He added, "You know, we can never can tell. Buttfucks can sometimes be used to assess the depth of fuckery."

"All we have to know is the truth. Remember that there are cults that achieve the truth through group sex that ends in orgasm, which then allows the cultists to see god," he elaborated and later furthered that buttsex could be an alternative to group sex. We didn't know why he was talking about sick, unthinkable things.

He also denied any deal or pimping or buttsex between King Inang Yellow, Arroyo and the Amps. "That sick thought of threesome among your masters, or anything better or worse, is just plain ridiculous," he said while flashing a finger that is dirtier than Ettaettaetta Rosalsales.

The marionette also mentioned that Zalzaldy, with the risk he is taking, needs "protection," thus the Fuck Responsibility Bill shall take the limelight again. He said, "Let us forget trivial things such as land reform and oil price hike. The FuckR Bill is needed of overpopulation, the root cause of poverty and all evil." We were not sure either if the Monarchy utilizes diversionary tactics again.

Protection? For Zalzaldy? That's fucked up, right? I mean why the heck would Zalzaldy need any protection? Is he a girl? With his crying on television as basis, there is a possibility. Pardon the unsolicited opinion. On with the news! Meanwhile, going further offtangent, Rosalsales, to make up for her castrated efforts against human rights violation, is happy meddling with petty things such as a mayor punching a sheriff and such. Demolitions are commonplace anyway. A public official hitting a constituent is an exotic delicacy for, well, publicity of CHR's 'achievements.'

--his Voyeur

Voyeur Bertho Valuenueva (BV) made it clear as the night skies from the deepest parts of R'lyeh that his client Zalzaldy shrugged off the prosecutors' persuasion of his buttfucking his brother and father. "Zalzaldy simply wants protection," BV said.

However, in a notarized open letter sent throughout the cosmos, even reaching Yuggoth as if lurking monstrosities care, Zalzaldy said he has the means to "nail and buttfuck the perpetrators to the ground like a common whore." We did not listen to BV anymore because he seems to speak in another sub-dialect of Olde Aklo pidginshit, so, we just asked another source.

Voyeur of the vicitms said that Zalzaldy's and BV's claims and fart knocking is preposterous and full of dogshit and catpoo, since "protection is only for those who may be impregnated, unless he fears that within his family lies sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes."

Oh, this is bullshit, btw. Distorted data from here and here.

Pandora's Boxes [v]: Palpakran

It has almost been half a decade and this motherfucker and the mother that he fucks with are still inhaling oxygen and exhaling intestinal gases [news!]. Here is an overview of the motherfucker's profile. Pardon the illustration. Twas 2006 and I was young and-- Here's the profile!

OVERVIEW

Jovi Palpakran, Jr. (born Kahapon [trans. "Yesterday"]) is a Kingkongressman representing totally marginalized and oppressed and maltreated and violated and powerless and discriminated army personnel via the Bantay-Salakay ("Dog-Assault") party-list group in the 14th Kingkongress. He will be called to active duty in the Armed Forces of the President in the future, of course. Notice the "will be" in the main verb? Get used to it. You may go to the future because there is a recent discovery that time zones are places. I have included such information for the sake of verisimilitude. Keep in mind that Palpakran was born yesterday. Anyway--

OTHER THINGS

as a lieutenant, he will retire like other lieutenants. He will be a tired general, who will be a prominent figure in the campaign against communist insurgents, like you guise. He will be the commander of the Humanitarians in Wars, which is why vegetarians eat vegetables and he is humanitarian. He will fuck with marry a lot of wo/men while in service but he will only have three children with a veterinary dentist. Two of his children will be the dogs, Cloud Meatballs and Bullet Dancer.

Palpakran earned a pedigree in zoo business administration from the University of the Beastiary yesterday after his birth. He will later earn a master's pedigree in managing canines from the Philippine Jesus Universe College on friday, and a master's pedigree in national security guardianship and administration from the National Defensive in Denial College next thursday. This is the reason why he has the semblance of a dog and a chimp. There are rumours that he is a bastard son procreated by two drunk species who, after a horny sensation, felt the need to--

Before he retires, Palpakran will be assigned in Idoru (by William Gibson) and Ramble On (by Led Zeppelin) as dominatrix of the 204th Brigade. He will later be the pedophile harem master of the 8th Infant Storm Troopers Division with a lot of young soldier boys. To summarize all his future greatness in his future pursuit of annihilating the communist insurgency, I would like to dare say and predict that he will triumph. There will be no public clamour for social change anymore. Poverty will be solved. Unemployment will be no more. No one will ever die because of Palpakran's noble efforts. Viva fascism.

Human rights issues? The Butcher? What butcher? What human rights issues? Palpakran will never be accused by organizations of having a role in alleged extrajudicial abductions and killings of government critics during his would-be military service. He will personally deny (of course, he is innocent, motherfuckers!) any link to any such killings, and will be cleared of rights abuses by the military through an internal, informal investigation in which no records were kept.

A probe by the Commission on Human Rights (excluding Lefts, of course) will never find that there is a direct evidence indicating that Palpakran will be the mastermind, and there will never be circumstantial evidence linking some members of the military, to the killings. Double negatives are not said to be unconfusing. The Melo Report will never state that, "there is certainly evidence pointing the finger of suspicion at some elements and personalities in the armed forces, in particular General Palpakran, as responsible for an undetermined number of killings, by allowing, tolerating, and even encouraging the killings."

He will be awarded with the following medals so, there is no way that he will violate human rights: Distinguished Balls Massage Service Stars, Gold Croissant with Human Fluid Jam Medal, Gawad sa Kaunlaran Kahit Kapapanganak Lang Kahapon Medal (KAKALAKA or "Progress Despite Being Born Yesterday" Medal), Bronze Croissant with Human Fluid Jam Medals, Wounded Jesus of the Universe Personnel Medals, Militar Medals and Warcraft Campaign Medals.

Oh, this is bullshit by the way. Distorted data from here.

CarcositeNewsNet: Automobiles? In Carcosa?

The xanthous horror monarch actually had a "car" that he has acquired and now lost?! How can that be? This world is sick in the mind! And Bishops with SUVs? What are SUVs? Shub-niggurath Ulthar-cats Volkswagen? Oh, just in, breaking news! King Inang Yellow's was a Porschariot. The fuck. Anyway, sorry for the hysteria. And the mortal sin of a delay. Previous Archbishop Grouch news here. On with the news.

King's Porschariot [updated 06JULY2011]

Upon the relief of a Porschariot from the closet tentacly appendages of His Majesty, King Inang Yellow gets a handjobshake from Archbishop Oscar Grouch, one of his most vocal critics and former overlord of the Carcosa Bi Chambers of the Philippines (or is it Catholic Boy Craftlove of the Philippines? As of press time, the meaning of the acronym CBCP remains unconfirmed).

Heard over a leaked un-aired-as-of-yet telepathic phone sex interview which was not really that private, Grouch, wearing a school girl's uniform, cheered the Yellow King's letting go of his "third-handjob" Porschariot 911 Speed of Light Psychic Teleporter Into Other Cosmicism.

"It is a holy thing to do to relieve himself of the burden and further punishment that the Old Ones might inflict upon him," Grouch said. He added that acquiring anything, even within the reach of your powers, may not necessarily be "righteous" since "Kings are representations of particular Great Ones who rule particular universes, so Kings shall live lives as simple as those they represent."

"It is, like, a holy thing to be consumerist and in the process amass possessions if Carcosa were a nation loyal to the Great Old Ones to the point that we are given the chance to dominate and fuck with other galaxies," Grouch added. "If that were the case, having many possessions is justifiable since most citizens have an equal share of resources looted or snatched from denizens of weaker cosmic systems."

The marionette of the monarchy earlier said that the Porschariot was acquired through alchemical transmutation of The King's own possessions, magick, power, tatters and favor from the Old and the Deep Ones. The Yellow King's Bayerische Miskatonik Werke (BMW) Steed was sacrificed in the process of acquiring the controversial porschariot.

Bishops' SUVs [updated 07JULY2011]

Meanwhile, Grouch criticized the SUV bishops as "pussies having no delicadeza." In defense, the SUV bishops of CBCP said, in unison, "By the will of the great Old Ones, we shall return the SUVs and attempt to retract the alchemical calculations, transmutations and exchanges with the PCSO (Poor Cannibals Sweepstakes Office)."

"No mortal sin here, just mere fuckery of jerking off in a public place," Grouch added. The PCSO minister fingered three Carcosa bishops who received luxury rides--one even had a Pegasus and a Chimera chariot. During his birthday, one whining pussy so-called Buto Bishop Anak ng Dios, asked for the 'ride' from former Carcosa Matriarch of the Heavens Arroyo (we all know Arroyo, right?).

Grouch furthered that it is "fucking bullshit" for Arroyo to give "free rides" to bishops of various Cosmic Ones without the ex-matriarch expecting any handjobsshakes from the holy shepherds in return.

In another encounter, Grouch said that the Royal Cosmic Outer Church of the Meanings of Existence may punish the wretched SUV bishops for eternity and the Confederation of Bishops may as well call for the resignation of the jerk offs who broke their vow to serve the interests of the cannibals.

Oh, this is bullshit, btw. Distorted data from here and here.

CarcositeNewsNet: Emoticon of Church and State

Palace: Eheheheheh ^_^'

The virtual community witnessed the concession of the Palace today saying that the nine-year Arroyo Queendom was not that bad at all. The crowbar duel was called off, contrary to the official declaration as reported yesterday.

Amputee Royal Spokesperson Galibail Voltage told Mala-Canan reporters that the King Inang Yellow monarchy utilized the Arroyo programs that "did not quite suck" and "worthy enough to be happy about, especially when you look at how she performed, but it's fine."

"Those who are saying that we completely discontinued the programs of the previous monarchy are liars and evil motherfuckers and rabblerousing assholes," Voltage added. "We are objective when we put programs into tests of relevance. We work on what works, as I've told you guise before."

She cited the Conditioning Cash Transmutation (CCT) Program, which is also the Kingdom's pride, other than that "very effective wang wang campaign against hassles and badtrips on the road."

"The CCT is from the efforts and greatness of the previous monarchy. It is fucking bullshit that we did not continue the said program. We just made it better and greater, but, needless to say, not greater than Cthulhu," Voltage said.

She also mentioned, with "a proud smug that an archbishop wants to knock off her face" according to a source, the Ministry of Health's "syringe program" and "anti-antiyellowfever campaigns" and "vanguards of firecracker victims during the New Year."

"I can enumerate a lot of our ass kicking, like the 2011 budget, the guilds and mercenaries that the Kingdom now controls, the Hali flood negotiations with, you know, star gods, if you know what I mean," she added. She stressed with that same smug that "the people's mindsets are changed" because they "look at the kingdom as a cool thing and not a motherfucking asshole."

"These are, indded, Yellow Signs," she almost ended. When asked about the crowbar threat she said, "What are you talking about?" I reminded her again about yesterday's news and she said she is late for her meeting.

Last Friday, following Thursday, Arroyo told the press that recognizing the gains of the previous monarchy and building on it is the mark of chivalry. Aw...

King Inang Yellow bagged the crown after telling the people that Arroyo is not that 'metal' at all because she is a miser, hoarding drugs and not sharing with her friends substances to be abused.

Arroyo said, "That's fucking bullshit."

Church: Waaaargh! >.<

"Almost a year in office, and King Inang Yellow wang wang (brags) about his ever victorious wang wang policy?," retired Lingkod-Dagukan Archbishop Oscar Grouch told me yesterday and I'm telling you about it.

"The nerve!," he added. "He is to celebrate his first anniversary as King and this is his cheap treat for all of us!" He also said that wang wang is not "that fab at all" and that the "promised straight path (pinangakong matuwid na daan)" is "nailed (napako) like that whore Mary Magdalene."

Grouch also criticized the "sloganeerings" (sic) of the Yellow King that remain "sons and daughters of the devil." When asked why, he said, "Son, you have not been reading the Bible. Satan is the father of lies. He is father to the King right now. If you continue that way, you'll be damned in hell with him."

"We are the King's boss? No corruption, no poverty? No wang wang no what? I am not being demanding. Much needs to be done more than observing silence while driving a porsche. The Philippines is not a library. It is a country, FYI," said Grouch, a former president of the Carcosa Bi Chambers of the Philippines (or is it Catholic Boy Craftlove of the Philippines? As of press time, the meaning of the acronym remains unconfirmed).

Grouch added that approval and trust ratings, not condoms, should be what the King concerns himself with. "Prepare for a magical storytelling this SOKA (State of the Kingdom Address). Record it too so you'll have a bedtime story with a happy ending to listen to, and fool yourself. God bless you all."

Oh, this is bullshit, btw. Distorted data from here and here.

CarcositeNewsNet: Palace readies crowbars (...)

Tsk. Fuck that headline. Anyway--

Palace prepares the longest crowbars vs. Arroyo, allies

Four fingers or "metal knuckles" are on. And not to mention, middle fingers.

Mala-Canan last thursday announced its fuck you and declared a real-time clan war versus Panga Rep. Gloriadiaz Pumalagka-Riot, the former queen or "the babylon royal whore queen of the Uncle SODOM (Superpower Omni-Dirty Old Man)" or Arroyo for short. Pun not intended.

"We have been defending ourselves from former president queen Arroyo. The hurtful offences damage our pure hearts, especially those cruel tweets in twitter. We wouldn't let such fuckery pass," said amputee royal spokesperson Galibail Voltage on kingdom-run dzAQ radio. "Word wars aren't man enough. Let's see how our crowbars break the balls they thought they have."

Voltage goaded Arroyo and her allies as well for resorting to lame "nye nye nye" blabber meant for kids. And their generalizations that are "gay."

On Friday, the day following last thursday, Arroyo remarked that the King Inang Yellow monarchy is "retarded" for "fucking up" and "screwing over ten million times to hell" the "grandeur brought to the country" by her nine-year Queendom.

"I left a very metal and very powerful economy pumped up through 10 motherfucking years of consistent killing of bad vibes," Arroyo said. "And this is what I get? A crowbar affaire d'honneur?"

"The kindom I left for him and my people," she added, "is so strong against the global crisis that we could laugh maniacally about it. Now, Asia recovers from the crisis, except our country. That is the problem. You (King Inang Yellow) are the problem, fucktard."

"Unsurprising, that piece of shit," Voltage said. "She is not even attending proceedings that would nail her like a whore to the prison bars, and now, she thinks she is so 'metal' because she triumphs with this media exposure whatsoever despite this evil weather. She is way more beyond the evilness (sic) of the weather though."

Faulken, the evil tropical storm named after the villain with black wings of the anime the Vision of Escaflowne, was here with us at the time Arroyo lured the media with yummy food for a press briefing in her hometown.

"That douchebag, feeling like she is the center of the universe!," Voltage said and furthered that Arroyo loves it when she is "treated" like a "princess" instead of an "old ugly queen." She added, "Arroyo is stalling! Yes, She is! Such press conferences are diversionary tactics, to shun the focus away from her impotency and impunity and such things that would hold her Queendom accountable!"

Voltage also insisted on the exclamation points while the draft of this article is being done. Do not blame us, please. Some of our writers have been having trauma with accusing fingers pointing at us as if everything is our fault. Sad.

No bodies home? Fuck that!

In her Saturday taping, following Friday, Voltage said that the Kingdom "works" on the programs of the past Queendom that "works." She added, "Thus, we are using a few programs, because her (Arroyo's) programs suck."

She also answered Arroyo's "no body home" assessment of the Kingdom. "There are no bodies home, because we dump people we kill right after. We are not here to parade how metal we are by letting the remains remain."

"Plus, the calamity funds," Voltage added. "You know about it. She spent it on her stuff for posing as the most metal queen ever. Ask the cabinet secretaries how the horror of not having funds haunts us, and you might outhorror Lovecraft."

"Fuck that 'no bodies home' statement," Voltage ended. "I am not sure what she means so I'm keeping my mouth shut about it. But not my crowbar."

Voltage was not yet done, sorry, "What 'danger signs,' Arroyo? During the first year of the Kingdom, less people were hungry, the economy was progressing, and stuff, are those danger signs? Those are Yellow Signs. Our policies are working."

I think she is done speaking. She left with something violent and crooked in hand.

Oh, this is bullshit, btw. The second this day.

The first one, here. The source / inspiration of this article, here.

Pandora's Boxes [ii]: 8 Demons

Oh, a new header / banner / whatsoever. Joy.

Though we all know that the evils of this millennium culminates with the most relevant issue of these times, i.e. the Onion not getting a Pulitzer Prize despite its outstanding contribution to the world with its high-caliber journalism powered with dedicated journalists who want nothing but to bring you the facts even without an award and desperately mad loyal supporters who would do anything for truth and justice, there are other issues that deserve attention (though let me emphasize, again, and clarify, again, that the Onion deserves more than all attention it can get such as the Pulitzer Prize, goddamnit!). And this concerns your children and the future of your grandchildren. And their grandchildren's clones.

Demons lurk amongst us, and one of them celebrated a birthday back then when they were exposed by Saviours and Soldiers of God and God's Truth (SAGOT) to the public. How arrogant those demons are! No demon has the right to celebrate birthdays or proclaim the day of their birth, for chrissakes! About two years passed and recently, another among their ranks celebrated his birthday through an esoteric occult ritual that the public would never suspect of being a satanic rite--dancing a new world order dance in the rain while screaming unholy incantations to wash their sins away and save themselves--without a christ! How proud and Luciferian!

This rite occurred after this guy and six of his cohorts (so, they were seven! see how they blaspheme God? they even used God's number instead of the Devil's number, six, and imprison themselves to manipulate media attention!) were freed by their co-demons from the Hell where God placed them to atone for their sins. The unrepentant sinners even marched from Hell to earth proclaiming victory over God and his warriors of righteousness. The same unrepentant sinners were asked by the soldiers about other demons they knew since knowing a demon's name gives you a decent chance of capturing them. Surprisingly, the list of demons names demons that were already labelled demons by SAGOT back then. Here's an archived video documentary of the demon hunting (yes, gritty camera movement! that's indie / alternative media! this creepy video still gives me the creeps!):

The bane of humanity, i.e. these demons--the seven, the eight, the sixteen, the fifty four, the one hundred, whatever the number and to whatever Legion they serve--shall turn to God and righteousness as long as they still have their souls to surrender to the Almighty. Get the Onion a Pulitzer to have an in-depth reportage further fortified by thorough analysis of issues such as these and secure the future of your children. And their grandchildren. And their grandchildren's clones. Before it is too late and we end in either a zombie or a robot apocalypse.

Oh, this is fiction, btw.