Tsk. Fuck that headline. Anyway--
Palace prepares the longest crowbars vs. Arroyo, allies
Four fingers or "metal knuckles" are on. And not to mention, middle fingers.
Mala-Canan last thursday announced its fuck you and declared a real-time clan war versus Panga Rep. Gloriadiaz Pumalagka-Riot, the former queen or "the babylon royal whore queen of the Uncle SODOM (Superpower Omni-Dirty Old Man)" or Arroyo for short. Pun not intended.
"We have been defending ourselves from former president queen Arroyo. The hurtful offences damage our pure hearts, especially those cruel tweets in twitter. We wouldn't let such fuckery pass," said amputee royal spokesperson Galibail Voltage on kingdom-run dzAQ radio. "Word wars aren't man enough. Let's see how our crowbars break the balls they thought they have."
Voltage goaded Arroyo and her allies as well for resorting to lame "nye nye nye" blabber meant for kids. And their generalizations that are "gay."
On Friday, the day following last thursday, Arroyo remarked that the King Inang Yellow monarchy is "retarded" for "fucking up" and "screwing over ten million times to hell" the "grandeur brought to the country" by her nine-year Queendom.
"I left a very metal and very powerful economy pumped up through 10 motherfucking years of consistent killing of bad vibes," Arroyo said. "And this is what I get? A crowbar affaire d'honneur?"
"The kindom I left for him and my people," she added, "is so strong against the global crisis that we could laugh maniacally about it. Now, Asia recovers from the crisis, except our country. That is the problem. You (King Inang Yellow) are the problem, fucktard."
"Unsurprising, that piece of shit," Voltage said. "She is not even attending proceedings that would nail her like a whore to the prison bars, and now, she thinks she is so 'metal' because she triumphs with this media exposure whatsoever despite this evil weather. She is way more beyond the evilness (sic) of the weather though."
Faulken, the evil tropical storm named after the villain with black wings of the anime the Vision of Escaflowne, was here with us at the time Arroyo lured the media with yummy food for a press briefing in her hometown.
"That douchebag, feeling like she is the center of the universe!," Voltage said and furthered that Arroyo loves it when she is "treated" like a "princess" instead of an "old ugly queen." She added, "Arroyo is stalling! Yes, She is! Such press conferences are diversionary tactics, to shun the focus away from her impotency and impunity and such things that would hold her Queendom accountable!"
Voltage also insisted on the exclamation points while the draft of this article is being done. Do not blame us, please. Some of our writers have been having trauma with accusing fingers pointing at us as if everything is our fault. Sad.
No bodies home? Fuck that!
In her Saturday taping, following Friday, Voltage said that the Kingdom "works" on the programs of the past Queendom that "works." She added, "Thus, we are using a few programs, because her (Arroyo's) programs suck."
She also answered Arroyo's "no body home" assessment of the Kingdom. "There are no bodies home, because we dump people we kill right after. We are not here to parade how metal we are by letting the remains remain."
"Plus, the calamity funds," Voltage added. "You know about it. She spent it on her stuff for posing as the most metal queen ever. Ask the cabinet secretaries how the horror of not having funds haunts us, and you might outhorror Lovecraft."
"Fuck that 'no bodies home' statement," Voltage ended. "I am not sure what she means so I'm keeping my mouth shut about it. But not my crowbar."
Voltage was not yet done, sorry, "What 'danger signs,' Arroyo? During the first year of the Kingdom, less people were hungry, the economy was progressing, and stuff, are those danger signs? Those are Yellow Signs. Our policies are working."
I think she is done speaking. She left with something violent and crooked in hand.
Oh, this is bullshit, btw. The second this day.