Binoculars and the mere thought of using them makes me feel awkward and filthy and awful as it implies peeping or surveillance or investigating or spying in despair and longing due to hopelessness of having the subject under my wing while--at the same time and at the similar intensity of proximity and relevance--belonging to the subject and looking at the subject face to face without having to feel that awkward feeling, that awkward act similar to sight seeing nature from tourists' perspectives through those binoculars you have to pay with coins to have a glance of mother nature's splendor and beauty and form and soul and flesh. The "pay" part makes binoculars allusion or comparison all the more awkward and ignoble and perverted and--well, fuck demure words, and let me say--pretty fucked up.
Let me end with something about this fanaticism or obsession from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig: "You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt."