Spectacles(trikethrough) [vii]

Specs[ vi][ v][ iv][iii][ ii][ i]. Everything might be a work of fiction. This is fiction. Stumbled upon fragments of fiction published in the Sunday Times Magazine. Not sure whether they are accessible though:

[Killing Disease][The Ouracle {i}][The Ouracle {ii}]

Looking at things from afar, this far, I think spectacles aren't enough. I will have to do something to get hold of binoculars. You take steps forward in reverse, as sung by wolves, and your presence seem to fade, and disappear, and totally melt into nonexistence beyond the horizon like panicking molecules of polar ice caps--getting away from each other like it is their 2012 and in effect shifting and changing and crossing another classical state of matter--upon the whisper, upon the genteel breath, upon the platonic visit of molecules of wandering summer breeze.

Binoculars and the mere thought of using them makes me feel awkward and filthy and awful as it implies peeping or surveillance or investigating or spying in despair and longing due to hopelessness of having the subject under my wing while--at the same time and at the similar intensity of proximity and relevance--belonging to the subject and looking at the subject face to face without having to feel that awkward feeling, that awkward act similar to sight seeing nature from tourists' perspectives through those binoculars you have to pay with coins to have a glance of mother nature's splendor and beauty and form and soul and flesh. The "pay" part makes binoculars allusion or comparison all the more awkward and ignoble and perverted and--well, fuck demure words, and let me say--pretty fucked up.

Guess I'll have to take steps forward in reverse, too. I have a lot of things to do as well, just like you and your peers and your co-whatevers. Unlike you, I have been trying to make time for our meditative duets. I have a lot of to-do lists and endeavors and reading lists and other sort of bullshit, just like you and your peers and your co-whatevers. Unlike you, I am speculating from afar making me and my assumptions ridiculous, if not insane--though insanity and ridicule may get along well and exist in the same room or consciousness. Yes, that is the rational thing to do. If the other took steps forward in reverse, then the other shall do likewise, so both the former other and the latter other crosses path sooner than they can say, --

Let me end with something about this fanaticism or obsession from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig: "You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt."

The Ouracle [ii] at the Sunday Times

The last of the two parts of the walanghiyang shameless plug last week. Read the previous entry here. Read the part ii here. Go directly to part i without reading the blog entry here. I hope I could watch Juan Isip at the park later, so I could then have a side trip at the Manila Times office somewhere in Manila. The problem is, I've no cash left. The elbi trip two days ago was a miracle of the gods. Anyway, it is 10.10.10, and I do not have any copy of the stories: Killing Disease and The Ouracle yet. During the recent elbi visit, I saw the copy at the Department of Humanities in UPLB though. I think that is more than enough. Thanks again, Sir Ordonez and Sir D. * yearn for the US vs John Lennon * sigh * publish post * Good sunday morning.