Sunday, March 18, 2012

Scratches and Sketches: On Academic Responsibilities and Student Leadership

(Er, I am not really sure whether I shall be meddling with student issues, but I will since I feel the agitating urge to do so, as the UPLB situation gets worse as we speak. No, no comments yet on criminal activities. I would rather focus on issues concerning student institutions. Here is Terry Ridon's take on the issue. This is a working draft, publicized without much shame.)

So, there's an open letter from MOVE UP suggesting measures to the Central Electoral Board of UPLB, so that what they call crises in student representation may be prevented, despite the perversion of the process being committed by the Board itself. Let me focus on their first, er, "point," suggesting the "inclusion of academic requirement, a residency requirement, and a load requirement," citing the cases of the former USC Chairperson and former Student Regent way back in 2009 as examples why such requirements are necessary. Well, it is either naivete or stupidity, if not arrogance or both or all, (maybe, add deliberate show of ignorance to appear innocent) to conclude that the two aforementioned cases of student leaders "disenfranchised" thousands of UP students; and to exclude that the ferocity of the then-Velasco administration serves as a factor in pushing student leaders against the wall, to work, maybe, beyond double time just to execute education campaigns in both the national and the local level.

All these seemingly directionless efforts of writing an open letter brandishing a facade of good will despite UPLB's call to proclaim Ynik Ante as the rightful USC chairperson. These efforts seem directed at deviating from the real issue of the admin's intervention. Notice that the letter started with Good day, which foretells the rest of the content: total, er, pardon the french, bullcrap. Why? Well, the day is far from good when the supposed Editor in Chief of the official student publication of UPLB students would rather spend time writing for another publication, instead of informing, if not mobilizing, the students to help, if not fight for, UPLB Perspective. Worse, the article that used the recent murder to advance political agenda implied something re: the USC issue, distorting data and citing Joyce Divino, the second-placer, as the USC chairperson-elect instead of Ynik Ante. Worse, the names listed as members of the Executive Committee of MOVE UP seem like, more or less, the same names that appeared on the editorial box of UPLB Perspective AY 2011-2012 (with Calayag as "Contributor"), in one of their very very rare releases. Worse, the article and the letter are both silent on the pressing issue, i.e., the CEB's deprivation of the students' right to determine the students they deem as leaders.

Now, I do not know how exactly [P] really is, but it is clear that these people have neither moral ascendancy nor leadership credibility to suggest what needs to be done as they themselves failed to live up to their mandates as leaders, as supposed vanguards of the flagship campus publication in Southern Tagalog. By the way, do feel free to correct me if I am wrong. I am speaking from an outsider's point of view. And, I may have speculations or ideas as regards how [P] is, but I do not think I am in the position to speak for the current editorial board, but I am hoping that the UPLB students be informed soon of how their student publication is. This hope, which I assume is also the hope of thousands of UPLB students have fallen on deaf ears for a year already. I hope the next editorial board conducts some sort of investigation.

If the case of UPLB Perspective 2011-2012 is not disenfranchising enough, if the case of Mr. Ernest Francis Calagayag's negligence, his term's not returning of bond fees among other delinquencies [read about the alleged criminal case of bribery filed by the Office of the Student Regent against Bukluran, an 'informal' alliance of UP political parties of which Calayag of MOVE UP is a member?] not as an enrolled student but as a student leader is not disenfranchising enough, I do not know what it is. Assuming but not conceding that the two aforementioned cases of "delinquency" that MOVE UP brought up are committed out of neglecting academic responsibilities, what more of the negligence of Mr. Samuel Pasia (EIC of Perspective) and Mr. Calayag, both who, as it seems, have been delinquent in their respective roles as student leaders of the publication and of the council? If memory serves me right, there was one Council of Student Leaders meeting when February Fair matters should have been discussed and Mr. Calayag was too busy with his academics to pay his constituents a visit. Would we want "student leaders" who would rather put their constituents' interests at stake just to, er, gain the units for their enrolled subjects? or, for whatever their reasons or excuses for not performing their respective roles are.

Speaking of subjects and numerical grades, it has been pointed out a number of times that grades are subjective. I myself have been in conflict with a professor, not because I am delinquent, but because we come from differing, if not opposing, frameworks. And such shall, of course, to some extent affect numerical grades. Now, if a professor happens to be an administrator too, then matters become more complicated, as you know, cases of power tripping are not, really, rare. Breeding student leaders who would rather be more concerned and conscious of their grades than of social praxis would inevitably be faced, in one in/direct way or another, with conflicts of interests, and upon facing such conflicts, these grade conscious students would, I believe, rather betray the objective interests of the education sector, rather than getting in trouble with the powers-that-be since these authorities give them the, say, privilege of being students eligible for a position that would decorate their curriculum vitae with more rainbows.

Grades, passing, exemplary or failing is not really all that matters. Quoting Freire at length, "It is only when the oppressed find the oppressor out and become involved in the organized struggle for their liberation that the oppressed begin to believe in themselves. This discovery cannot be purely intellectual but must involve action; nor can it be limited to mere activism, but must include serious reflection: only then will it be a praxis." I do not know what MOVE UP's multiperspective activism is all about, but putting premium on numerical grades, something determined by how you abide by the "rules" seems more of giving in to the system they claim to change rather than overhauling it.

As regards the brand of student leadership they and their kin seem to advocate, it seems to put emphasis on the purely intellectual, though any claim to being intellectual may, of course, be contested. Simply put, assuming that parroting the Professor's standpoint verges on the intellectual, upon being faced with a decision when one has to choose whether to sacrifice one's status as a student for the sake of serving the people or to retain a good working relationship with the bureaucracy to serve personal interests of graduating at the soonest time possible with the highest academic honors possible, the "student leader" with numerical grades as priority would have second thoughts, faced with a decision-making dilemma where one has to choose between the stakeholders and the colors of intellectual capital and related investments; the "student leader" shall take academic incentives, as if a bribe, to compromise student interests. Yes, their suggestion, since time immemorial, is just a "minimum grade requirement," but, again, consider the subjectivity of attributing a number to gauge academic performance. One can even get a failing mark just because, and there are, even, tenured professors who have the reputation of using a dart board to determine academic performance.

Thus, in the event that academics and leadership compete for attention, such a "student leader," who claims to be a student first before being a leader, will, needless to say, predictably put academic requirements on top priority, which actually, obviously, shows a vacillating commitment to one's responsibilities as servant leader. The rhetoric of being a student first before being a leader, being an iskolar para sa bayan (the laughable and identity-crisis-ridden iskolar ng bayan para sa bayan, included) justifies future delinquency, by, say, garnering excessive absences in USC meetings as in Lamentillo's case, for instance; by, say, working in silence as if the underdog to settle the case of missing bond fees as in Calayag's case, for another instance. Simply because they are students first, who have this and that schedule of a group meeting or other whatever-their-meetings-that-are-more-important-than-their-sworn-duty-to-serve-their-constituents-from-whom-their-mandate-came-from.

In general, student leaders who are students first before being leaders would perform their responsibilities as leaders during their free time, during breaks when they are most comfortable, so that they remain law-abiding citizens, where law means as superficial as not overstaying as a student, subscribing even to authorities who intervene with student institutions, subscribing to anyone who would bless them with "academic" incentives which are sometimes incentives gained if one agrees with the system at all times and attacks anyone who begs to differ.

In Pedagogy of the Oppressed, Freire already showed how "education suffers from narration sickness," with his banking definition of education and the object-subject relationship in the classroom setting where students are mere repositories of knowledge. As Prof. Lanuza, in "Demythologizing the Fetish of Academic Excellence," has already criticized and discussed these effects of neoliberal education to this perverted thinking of so-called "student leaders" whose mantra is, as repeated in this entry, student-first-leader-next," such fetish for grades, trains these budding "student leaders" to be trapos and gradually turns them into potential reactionaries against anything that promises however radical a change.

I'll end by quoting what I believe is the heart of Lanuza's essay: "This naiveté leads to the creation of what Giroux aptly calls as the “pedagogy of the depressed” in which students are subtly programed to believe that getting better grades and mastering the skills are the be-all and end-all of education, and where teachers are reduced to mere bodies without organs of the teaching–war machines diligently preparing students to live the in nucleus of Christopher Lasch’s “heartless world”."

And let me add his recent status update: "Getting a grade of 1.0 makes you intelligent but not Intellectual. Intelligence works within the framework of limited but clearly stated goals, and may be quick to shear away questions of thought that do not seem to help in reaching them. An intellectual, on the other hand, is critical and creative. Whereas intelligent students seek to grasp, manipulate, re-order, adjust, intellectuals examine, ponder, wonders, theorize, criticize, imagine. Intellectuals usually get DQs, MRR, and LOA. Intelligent students get the awards during graduation. They are docile slaves of the system that gives plentiful rewards to the grade-droolers." Let me point out that Lanuza has never been my professor, thus, this, erm, "parroting" does not really have anything to do with incentives of some sort, like those minus point two fives for perfect attendance. Just as linking Chomsky's take on the purpose of education and suggesting that student leaders against student delinquency stop their delinquency as student leaders (indeed a delinquency resembling "noynoying while in office)" would not bless me with any grade incentive. How sad. Anyway, it has been a lengthy entry that has been revised a couple of times today and it is perhaps my turn to say: Good day.

PS Making the day better is UP and Ateneo's fall from the world's list of top universities. [news]

Friday, March 16, 2012

Reverences [vi]: [i] + [iii] appendix / References [vi]


"Una mujer no puede decir q somos simples vasijas donde Dios o un Hombre deposita la esperma de la reproducción. Aborto terapéutico ahora!" (Yes, I know how ironic this post is. Just can't help it. Sorry.)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Remote Control (RJ Mabilin, Axel Pinpin)



(Mga poster e likha ni Max Santiago [source] [source] [source].

Dahil may live na kilos-protesta mamaya, buong araw, caravan, hindi pa naman tigil-pasada, atras-yagbols na etong mga reaksyunaryo at may ilan nang nagsuspindi ng pasok. Kontra sa mga bwakanangshet na kartel ng langis ang pambansang pagkilos, at naririto ang medyo pinal nang burador ng adaptasyon ko ng tula / kanta ng The Axel Pinpin Propaganda Machine.)

Remote Control
by RJ Mabilin and Axel Pinpin, Transliterated / adapted by Tilde Acuña

Don't be surprised
if the peasants paint their rage
on the bailey of the Department of National Defense.
Unlike you,
they don't have Facebook walls
where L-O-L's & Je-je-je's
& fuck-that-shit's may be published.

Unlike you
who have bodies built
by daily 2-hour workouts at Fitness First,
unlike you
their character
is fashioned by a hundred years of poverty
unlike you
their legs
are beefed up by miles of marches on the streets;
unlike you
their arms
are fortified by deflecting the blows of the thieves.

As Gil Scott-Heron says
The Revolution
will not be televised.

Unlike you
who believe that being -
and I quote - a good Filipino - end quote,
meant crossing only on pedestrian lanes,
catching bus rides on designated bus stops,
and avoiding the use of wang-wangs.*

Unlike you
their love for the motherland
meant the preparedness to trample across
roads where No Jaywalking signs are put up
or else, these sidewalks where people are forbidden to be.
Yes, forbidden! People are forbidden to be here!

Unlike you
their love for the People
meant the zeal to post bills
on buildings that say Post No Bill,
And, upon arrest shall surely be sentenced -
No! You can't post bail!

As Gil Scott-Heron says
The Revolution
will not be televised.

Unlike you whose pleasures rest on noon time shows
Enjoying the commercial that inquires for whom you arise
But cannot air the call to Boycott Nestlé!
Showtime, from which the wolves profit, sells best.

Unlike you who garner awards and recognition
But do not recognize the people behind the camera.

Unlike you who ground pleasures on ratings
you who shamelessly read and imitate Dylan Thomas
as you deliver the lines of the poems for the Captain.
You said “Rage, rage against the dying of the light…”
Those lines are theirs. Theirs!

And because of this their tears fall once again,
not because of the unique visual effects,
or poignant background music,
or primetime advertisements;
cuz diz us d real reality show, yes, the truth!

Unlike you
their investment is the preparedness to be arrested,
to be detained, to be tortured and to sing Songs of Hope
while guns are pointed at their backs.

Unlike you
their reward is the singing
of the forward march of the masses
while their blindfolds are being tightened.

Unlike you
their victory
is the whistling of the Internationale
while their own graves are being excavated.

Unlike them who are ready to be disappeared
and be among the collection of "Surfacing."
Unlike them who are ready to perish
and be recorded as stats among victims of extra-judicial killings.

To perish and be recorded and be exhibited as Art in Fact Sheet.
To perish and be recorded as poetry, to die and to live in poetry.
To perish and become immortal in poetry.

And one morning, there are no television programs.
Utter static. Utter static.
Neither good mornings
nor news, nor good evening, world.
Nothing at all. Neither banners
nor telenovelas, nor noon time crap of a show.
Neither commercials, nor remnants of the past.
Nothing at all. Nothing at all.

As Gil Scott-Heron says
The Revolution
will not be televised.

And as another writer puts it in his word of advice:
I hope the children don't imitate such an abuse
this is why in this evening of class solidarity
I shall seize the remote control and shut you down!

As we speak,
The working class on Television
wants to wage a revolution!

And it is - Live!

*sirens, often used by emergency vehicles or VIPs, as on-road wailing warning signals so that other motorists give such vehicles the right of way.


[Narito] ang mga schedule at venue mula sa Kilusang Mayo Uno.


May "Facts and Figures" at Video re: Oil Price ang Mayday [rito].

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Scratches and Sketches: Some Recent Births and Deaths

The previous days have been hectic, both for death and for, er, say, the powers that (re)create matter, assuming that they are, what, disparate.

[Previous tumbler (coffee tumbler, not, er, a tumblog), uhm, design I, kind of, disposed. Original's in white background and blue lines. Inverted the colours, for, I don't know, fun.]

Let me begin with deaths, first of which is that of Jean Giraud aka Moebius, who passed away last March 10. Then, yesterday before sunlight intrudes to introduce another day, came the unexpected (well, what is not) arrival of Karl Roy at the, say, paradise he has been searching for, following the white light. (BTW, there has been another incident of robbery and stabbing in the UPLB vicinity, after three deaths due to criminal activity, [here] comes another. Muntik nang magkaroon ng ika-apat na estudyanteng paglalamayan dahil sa krimen. Ang isa pang worry ko lang naman sa ganito ay ang gawin itong batayan para sa extracurricular new improved surveillance dahil sa justification ng police presence. So, death din ito ng seguridad, bagamat matagal naman na itong naaagnas, lalo sa kaso ng mga tibak sa Timog Katagalugan. Ewan ko sa dekadens ng lipunang ito, ano. Gulo.)


I don't know, but such an exit from the particular plane being an entrance into perhaps another plane of existence feels heavy and easy at the same time. Maybe, it is because I know their work and not the artists themselves, but nonetheless, it feels, I don't know, inspiring? At the risk of the cliche trivializing death and accepting it as a consequence of life (well, it is), I think "they are in a better place" as most people say, which could have been realities they have already weaved while they existed among us: Moebius may be in his pastel-colored future outlined by his signature strokes and his fantastic visions of that future (his present) that may now be tangible for him, whatever tangible in that plane may mean or feel like. Karl Roy on the other hand may be jamming, literally high, up with his fellow fallen rock star heroes and friends overlooking mourners bidding their half-smiled farewells and soldiers of music saluting in gratitude of lives shared at the mosh pit or through head phones. They are in their respective paradisos.


Another "death" that deserves another paragraph is that of Encyclopaedia Britannica, allegedly murdered by Wikipedia and the internet. I am not quite sure whether the pages of those tomes, and the future pages that the internet aborted (or, is about to abort), would be happy in another place, another limbo. Or, maybe they are here, with us, adrift the cyberspace, their heaven, where data freely flows, something as double-edged as freedom. (And, an interesting read that does not directly have anything to do with matters discussed herein: Bringing Back the State to the Revolution, a commentary on the Occupy movements here and abroad, on the debate between anarchists and revolutionaries, and so on. In someway, somehow, it is related to, I don't know, (re)birth, right?) Now, I feel kind of, guilty, as I have been itching, desiring, for a long time, to sculpt the "heroes," or "google," or whatever of my childhood into an artwork, though it has already been done by other people. Oh, those pages should have had tasted the violence of, what, a swiss knife or any blade, for the sake of, yes, art and all the bullshit.

So, there, death of a French artist, of a local cult icon, and, uhm of a universal experience of, maybe, children hailing from around the middle class.

[Current tumbler (coffee tumbler, not, of course, a tumblog), er, design I birthed early this morning. Original's in white background and black line work. Inverted the colours for, er, fun.]

Now, these "births" are really just shameless plugs, so, let me make it as quick as possible. Sorry for the, I don't know, trickery, because er, *some text missing a.k.a. i am either out of words or i want to shut up about the missing text i did not dare blurt out* First is the January-February issue of the UP Forum, with my article "Community Sterilization and the Cataclysm."

Then, the artwork "symphony [iii]" and poem "Minanikang Makina" appear in the February issue of The Cabinet.


And, lastly, I am not sure, but I think Kilometer 64 Poetry Collective published my poem in their book Mga Panahon sa Hacienda Luisita, but I am almost certain that they did publish in Seldang Maginaw "TANAGA 4 x 7," the poem I have written for Calamba 7 (5 UPLB students and 2 activists from the community detained during the protest action at the 150th birthday, thing, of Rizal in Calamba. Among the five is Ynik Ante, the University Student Council chairperson-elect of the recent USC-CSC elections in UPLB whose position is being sabotaged and contested by evil people who, my prediction says, are going to be future leaders of this godforsaken, decadent, ill-valued third world country, if nothing "radical," er, "purges" these evil people [that put "Epoxy to shame," using De Quiros's words in his hard-hitting yet kinda Pnoy-leaning column today describing Corona] soon [details]).


Btw, KM64 celebrated their 9th anniversary at the Conspiracy Bar last night.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Repeat until fade / Reverences [v]

"Books are worthless," Abrenuncio said with good humor. "Life has helped me cure the diseases that other doctors cause with their medicines." -from Of Love and Other Demons, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. But some books are of significance, like, the Necronomicon for instance. And some comic books are of utter significance like Alan Moore's Neonomicon.



*About REVERENCE: Posts labeled with reverence are photographs or images or horrors the resident of the carcosite admires like a fangurl. Entries such as this shall have no caption or labels, besides this caption that shall blankly describe what REVERENCE is. So blank that all you can do is wander via google about the featured entity and wonder. Well, this is, simply, a facade for fangurling; and an attempt to pretend that the label REVERENCE means something. Yes, hollow words, I know. Good day. By the way, there is a good chance that I am preparing or planning some sort of (private) hagiography for revered entities featured herein.These images, just like most, if not all, images in previous REVERENCEs, are not mine.* All images lifted from the [comicvine.]








Sunday, March 11, 2012

Expletive pun

Minsan, gusto mo magmura sa sobrang mahal, tipong magwawala ka dahil wala kang magawa at kailangan mong pagbigyan ang tawag ng pangangailangang hindi naman talaga kailangan, magmumura ka na lang sa sobrang mahal, parang, tangimorrissey! Minsan naman, sa sobrang pagmamahal ka napapamura, tipong gusto mo humagulgol bilang pagluluksa sa taong ni hindi mo naman personal na nakilala pero nakilala mo ang mga iniluwal, sa sobrang pagmamahal, mapapamura kang, parang, tanginamoebius!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

If they reckon our labor union as a corpse (Axel Pinpin)

Dahil kaarawan ni Axel Pinpin at unang beses ko ata itong magsalin (o gumawa ng adaptasyon?) sa Ingles ng Filipinong akda, pagpasensyahan na ang burador. Bukas sa puna, as always. Matsala at happy 40th [?] birthday kay Axel. Magka-edad ata sila ng UPLB Perspective [nostalgia trip here], ang opisyal na pahayagan ng mga mag-aaral ng UPLB na kasalukuyang hindi ko maintindihan ang trip sa buhay dahil militante at progresibo naman ang tradisyon nito pero ewan, oops, off-topic, o, heto na ang salin.

***

If They Reckon Our Labor Union as a Corpse
(For Gerry Cristobal)
by Axel Pinpin, Translated by Tilde Acuña

If the sweatshop is already a mausoleum
And the machine oils with blood
And the factories that were once abodes
for workers pay wails as wages
We head home early for the countryside
To lead our fellow toiling masses!

If the machine's noise is already a gunfire
And the only asset left is our strength
Of capitalizing that profit is used to hire
An unholy barracks of slaughter and brute force
We forge shears that cut through shackles
For us to break away from bondage!

If they reckon our labor union as a corpse
And presume that our flock is altogether forsaken
By the proletarian with no tears left for lament;
Ceaseless salute to hammers on banners,
Martyrs and inspirations are the working class heroes;
Sustain prominence until further victories!

***

(Kapos pa rin ang kasalukuyang bokabularyo sa Filipino [Ang mahal kasi niyang UP Diksyunaryong Filipino], may ilang mga tula ni Pinpin na nais sanang isalin, kaso, hindi mabibigyang-hustisya, assuming, syempre, na nabigyan kong hustisya ang isang ito na pinamagatang "Kung Bangkay Na Nilang Ituring Ang Ating Unyon (Alay Kay Gerry Cristobal)" mula sa Tugmaang Matatabil : Mga Akdang Isinulat sa Libingan ng Mga Buhay.)

***

Friday, March 9, 2012

Repeat until fade [iv] Playlist: Telling Ghosts, etc.


"The more you take, the more you need; the more you suck, the more you bleed; the dead know better so listen to the letter; the more you suck the more you bleed," sings Maynard James Keenan, who also said in an article that he "has no interest in watering his product down for the masses." I wrote a poem mentioning him during the days of Mideo Cruz shenanigans, and this statement makes me feel like, I don't know, making me ask whether deep within my subconscious, I am, indeed, following him as a role model or otherwise. If I am already conscious of the possibility that I am unconsciously -- [The artwork above was done while cramming for the zine "Pseudocuments Volume One: Prose | Poetry | Pictures."]


-- no, rethinking philosophies, principles and all the fvcking bullcrap shall be postponed to another day, because this day, I shall try to stop taking and sucking to lessen the needing and the bleeding: I shall stop absorbing information right at this very moment and face whatever the fvck awaits me later this afternoon. Hope everything goes well, because my life plans, to some very hardcore extent, depends on what the shiznit later brings and how the consequences of what it brought conceive further aftereffects, and speaking of effects, I'll just go on and do what I am ought to do and leave you with shit from Trent Reznor and MJK. And Meshuggah, too:





Thursday, March 8, 2012

Repeat until fade [iii] / International Women's Day



"To be aware of a threat is to reply to it." I cannot remember whether this line was from Neil Gaiman's Sandman or from Mike Carey's Lucifer but I am, somehow, certain that this line came from Mazikeen. Happinternational Women's Day! (I have thought of Arya Stark, but she has already been quoted in a [previous entry].)


[Can you guess who the inspiration / model is? If you cannot, then don't! error was published in the February 2012 issue of the UP Newsletter, with the article for Prof. Dennis Andrew Aguinaldo's lecture, "The Literary Appropriation of Science: Barthelme's Postmodern Fiction as a Possible Resource for UPLB."

I have also used a detail of error as one of the panels for the "Fragments: In Which We Are," a collaborative work written by Alyza and adapted / visually interpreted into comics form by yours truly and published by the Quarterly Bathroom Companion Comics Compendium peeps in the second volume.

To people who had the chance of reading our contribution, I hope you noticed some sort of semblance of the women in it to, you know, real existing women? But if you didn't, it is, of course fine. Drawing faces of women I admire is already a pleasure, anyway. And, I hasten to add that admiration does not really mean mere physical attraction, though that aspect, of course, counts. I think strength, as seen in Mazikeen and Arya, are among those which matter the most.

[google's logo tribute thing]

Salamat, at muli, Maligayang Pandaigdigang Araw ng mga Kababaihan!]

***



[PAHABOL!!! At the risk of preempting and shit, I plan to write at length about this issue. Sana, magawa before the week ends. Sana, actually, makapagdraft tonight! Central Electoral Board's Mark Lester Chico, by the way, is an alumnus of BUKLOD UPLB. Yung prinoklama nilang USC chairperson na si Joyce Divino (na natalo ni Ynik Ante) ay from BUKLOD UPLB. There, connect the dots. Plus, this [article], written by the Editor in Chief of the current UPLB Perspective that failed to live up to its supposed mandate as the flagship student publication of Southern Tagalog, stinks of propaganda, propaganda being derogatory in this sense! Yan, may glimpse na ng kung anong binabalak kong isulat na kahit hindi ko ata masulat e may ideya na ang ilan kung anong lalamanin nito. Agitating. Hanggang dito na lang muna. Magdiwang muna kayo / tayo, sa kabila ng mga kashitan.]

**international women's day in solidarity w chile update - march 9 **

**i thought this fangurling ended already. it should've ended**

Sunday, March 4, 2012

UPLBLTX and other things

Let me start with an apology, as the previous sleep-deprivation-induced days further robbed me of my limited knowledge of social norms, as the zombie that I was talk and walk among the living. Actually, I feel like Sleep would hit me with another blow in the face in another couple of hours. That whore. I have been sleeping the regular sleep after my college days and this is the first time I succeeded in not sleeping, and this is how Sleep repays me? Insatiable whore. (Below lies, not a whore, but my last minute poster for the event.)



There are good things and bad things and among the good things are releases of things I planned to release as promised to self: Pseudocuments Volume One: Prose Poetry Pictures and harapin ang hinagap: mga prosa has been off the press though the press is, really, just the photocopying machine, a little, you know, cash and, er, people at the photocopying center and yours truly. Here's the short intro for pseudocuments, A Public Service Advisory from Adam David:

Enclosed herein are short-form lyric cyberpunk protest monologues of civil disobedience penned by one Tilde Acuña, disobedient civilian formerly of UPLB. These texts contain nothing but bad news for everyone, sentiments formulated to provoke guilt towards your person and ill will towards the foundations (and fundamentals) of contemporary society, written in a voice calibrated to confuse artfully rather than inform pragmatically. Rest assured that all these are lies and double-speak, do not relate to your person or your life experience, do not talk about your society or your government or the leaders of your government. This is not how the world works. Keep calm and carrion.

and here's a sort of errata, cleansing, repentance, thanksgiving, apology, attempt at salvation, copypasted from my facebook note:

mahirap harapin ang katotohanang

may sobrang nakakahiyang very glaring typo, na hindi lang typo, kung hindi sobrang nakakahiyang very glaring error sa harapin ang hinagap : mga prosa. kunsakaling naispatan mo, bago ko pa man maisulat ang pagpupunang ito, pasensya na at hindi agad napansin noong mismong event dahil kakaprint lang noon at assumero akong ayos na ayos na, nairaos din ang zines, etc, etc, pero sobrang very wrong ako, so, tama na ang ligoy, ganito ho:

may pito atang (nadekwat o) nabiling harapin ang hinagap, dahil labingtatlo na lang (out of bente) ang natira sa akin. so, para sa pitong nilalang na iyon, dalawa ho ang naisip kong pagpipiliang dispensa: una, papalitan ko ang kopya ninyo, magtakda lang tayo ng oras; at ikalawa, itabi ninyo ang ebidensya ng kasalanan kong kasalanan naman nating lahat (yes, nandamay at nag-justify ng kamalian, e, ano): ang cramming, so, itabi mo na iyang kopya mo ng harapin ang hinagap, at bibigyan na lamang kita ng libreng kopya ng nilulutong komix; at ikatlo, kung may maimumungkahi ho kayo karampatang anuman, ayun, pakisabi na lang ho.

may nakaligtaan akong i-tag, malamang, dahil apat lang ang naalala kong kakilalang bumili, so, tag ko na rin si adam david para maispatan ang note na ito ng natitirang tatlong nilalang na nakaiskor ng depektibong zine dahil sa pagkacram. ayun na lang po, maraming salamat at sensya na sa hasel.

Besides not being able to release my transmet fanfiction and the blockquote right before this paragraph that documents my sins, among the bad things are things sacrificed against one's will. I failed to attend BLTX TALX because I have to rest the rest I failed to have for about 72 waking hours, just to release the zines at the event. So, of course, I would have to settle with and be thankful to generous people who share their notes on alternative publishing and to people who, as we speak, are preparing mp3s of the talks during the event. *update* Here's another something re: BLTX from The Curious Couch *entry updated @ 03|05|2012*

***

Besides criminal activities (that I would like to discuss in another time and might be inappropriate to be mentioned but I think shall be mentioned as the news feed does not forgive and it shall flash information no matter how in/appropriate it is), independent publishing has also been proliferating from the ground where Maria Makiling's feet rest. I confess that UPLB's participation in BLTX made me blush the first time I saw the the diarrhea of titles of zines flooding the BLTX album. (Apir sa PANTAS, The Cabinet at Samahang Layb! Para sa inyo ito: ♥ !) Glad to see faces that I have and have not seen before, during the event and releases from those faces that I have and have not seen before. Sad to not see faces that I expected to see and the releases to identify those faces with.

The frustration somehow felt similar to this frustration in what UPLB is seemingly becoming in another (and many other) aspect(s). But as per the independent publications are concerned, it is flourishing and I am hoping that this flourishing manifests in the sociopolitical landscape of UPLB being criticized, as these criminal activities are not limited to the ones spearheaded by your usual lumpens but also by your usual bullies in formal attire up the towers of power that stabs the students of their right to have the leaders they elected seated. Regarding the rising crime rate and the residents' asking for security, also rethink, are they doing it on purpose so that you yourselves ask for something they are planning to do? Remember that tightening security measures is double-edged, with the security officers that we have and their commanders? Ewan ko. Sakit sa ulo. Maybe, a consciousness of the community, and immersing in them so that they would be the ones to apprehend the culprits, is one of the many solutions? The solidarity across sectors? But, of course, that shall take a lot of time and effort at organizing.

I am a week and a year older this day, and I do not know why that shall matter and I am supposed to write shit I thought I have learned but maybe, not this time because with the deluge of publications, which is not really something bad, I once again ask, not just to independent publishers but first and foremost to my self: what is the point, had there been any? And I quote my entry from buhay indie (I really hope komix peeps, without hampering their schedule of working on their projects, also ask these questions from time to time) in its entirety, though I think this does not really concern anyone as it seems like most people do what they please for the sake of doing what they please:

To whom it may concern,

I have been infected with what I consider one of the, say, common colds that, I think, often bothers most people engaged in creative (maybe, even critical) work: self-censorship. I have a lot of plans in mind, despite piles of works-in-progress and unchecked boxes in to-do lists, but I keep on thinking and re-thinking whether these projects are worth publishing, or they would just add to the existing clutter. This thinking that have caused paralysis, if not indifference towards creative work ceased to exist (or so I thought) after I have alas drawn something that I thought would deserve a little space in the interwebs. I have been unproductive, save for my translations (or adaptations) of poems and stories, and my komix in the most recent memory, Ang Sandatahang Banga, was released August last year.

With these frustrations, I learned to enjoy seemingly mundane things. Shallow as it may seem, I kind of celebrated my first drawing for this year, hoping such sort of breaking the silence implies productivity in the next few days. It seems so, as I've thought of another project, that I hope to pursue and finish and release during BLTX2, WHILE working on a komix script I have shelved for more than a year--something written way back 2010--which I assume would be a five-part graphic novel, with each portions differing in length, and this is what I aim to finish as soon as possible, before the world ends, WHILE working on other pending projects and collaborations that I wouldn't want to preempt yet, WHILE working for a living. But then again, besides questioning whether I am biting off more than I can chew, I ask as I have asked, and will probably ask: is it worth the effort?

I have released a significant bulk of my shelved material during the BLTX, which means I shall get this illness over with at the soonest time possible and give birth to new abominations, else I run dry and do something I have thought of (and resisted from) doing years and years ago. Thank you for dropping by, and I hope to see literary projects from the home that I wish to come home to but cannot and will not because of, well, you know the routinary bittersweet drama of, yak, loving the place so much you hate it, right? So, there!

Some other streets within the City as of 11.11.11.11.11

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