symphony [i]
[kelangan nang hamunin ang sarili at magsimula ng countdown at magdrawing ulet. hindi. hindi x days before xmas. samhain. 13 days na lang, samhain na.]
the previous days have been a motherfucker in their own little ways. however, those same days have their sweet ways of making up to screwing me over. yesterday, was no internet connection day. which turned out fine and productive as i already have entries for this countdown til the week ends. and today, i start the symphony series and temporarily end zdzislawing.
here's another happy thing---despite those cold shoulders that i believed and thought were shrugging me off like i'm some sort of a contagious std and this fucking up of gehenna, my laptop, which is being a whore at this very moment, the screen freezing like shit and system lagging like fuck, at least---the carcosite went beyond 5 thousand hits. (kinginang despite yan. simply put: i felt alone. yak.)
it hasn't even been a year and samhain is just around the corner. superficial as it may seem, i am glad as well because blog stats indicate that some sort of entity googled me and the shit i've translated. that, say, generosity to some extent neutralized, not the people i hate, but my self-loathing that devours me, with, of course, my permission. at least someone seeks me, after all. whoever the devil that is (or perhaps a legion comprising one or more entities?), thank you. i sound like a douche right now, right? apologies. i just felt, kind of, overwhelmed. anyway,
this 13th is sweet. i think that shall be all. i've left nothing unsaid for now i suppose (yet a lot left undone. sigh.). thank you for dropping by. (ay, sinecondthought ako, di kaya intel o something yung nagugoogle at nag-loiter sa aking blog? kunsakali ngang naniktik lang siya o sila, sana nakapulutan nyang aral!)
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