Thursday, October 11, 2012

ten eleven twelve

not really mm dd yy or month day year but day day day where ten is yesterday eleven is today twelve is tomorrow, thus, this day encompasses all time, how profound and meaningful, so let me share how things are amid my recent inactivity in social media where i was more or less average in terms of being active. i plan to stay inactive, as being a vicarious spectator seems kinda fine (and fun, look at whatever the fvck these jesters or university publications are discussing. well, at least, the religious fanatics remain passionate with their stand, the jesuits point out how fanatical the fanatics are, and the brothers stand for all the stands of all the people in the world and beyond. fun. observing is fine. and fun.). i am involved offline anyway (cybercrime law TRO? i was in the streets in front of the supreme court with the critics of the controversial law last october 9, protesting, so here i am to reap what we sow, and to dare say the people who see any good with that law shall go fvck themselves). anyway. life update slash prompt. after. this. cut.

ten. it has been nine years since we began sharing something together. i cannot access data in my memory when you left for good and leveled up into another plane of existence. i commemorated the tenth day of the tenth month nine years ago unconsciously or otherwise by crafting cards that solve cosmic mysteries of annihilation and creation; and that remind us memories of the future and alternate pasts. the former uncertain, the latter oblique like strategies of surviving a day when people are about to pray their three o'clock habit and your stomach remains empty so you fill it with a quarter pounder with thick beef layered with things you do not care to know but you consume with the patty and the aroma of beefy beef goodness. after indulging in gastronomic pleasure, i walked to the room with six eyes to put my cards and visions to test. all of the eyes had a uniform and united expression, based from what my eyes hear: smiles. and they, the cards i christened with other names, delivered so well that i think they could have christened and created me instead of that other way around. they went for a vacation and i hope they return soon. i need their counsel now and at all times.

eleven. two towers. not those towers but the towers in the number. 11. see? those are towers. twin towers even. god, i remember another of those two towers. both of them young, but i remember vividly the one with a name that roars strength. but i shall forget. she seems everything i am not. i know i'll die alone. i know. another thing i know today? today. pussy. riot. pussy riot. it is today when one of three of them was released. but not nadezhda. why not nadezhda. so sad. so sad that the depth and profundity of ten eleven twelve at this moment in time drowns in the sadness. she could have been a political exile here and she may bring with her her daughter but the trip going here shall only be for two, so no room left for other people. the trip back to mother russia shall only be for one. her daughter. today. today, i sent a goddess a word about the ministry she did not know i was involved in, but a ministry she loves much. she has not responded, but it is fine. i will have to prove my faith to that ministry and my holiness to her using, of course, her standards as the yardstick before i get the response i so deserve or thought to deserve. i can be such a gurl sometimes. a fangurl. how shameless.

twelve. i shall schedule this thing i am writing at exactly 845 in the evening and set blogger to publish this post on 101112, had the hour minute second been possible, but it is not, so, there. good day and may motherfvckers such as yourselves survive the hellweek.

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