soundtracks to the apocalypse (& beyond?)

as i type, i download a personal copy of a hologram self that i am about to obliterate, that is meant to be obliterated before the end or during the first minutes of the beginning; hours ago, i have converted the THURSDAY NEVER LOOKING BACK in epub format into pdf; and had a glimpse of other pieces in the said end of the world antho which included zdzislawed artworks (look for these at the samhain countdown posts way back samhain last year), bangungot, among other artworks, litanya ng matandang ulupong and soliloquy of the olde serpent; glad to find the antho in my email after the tiring day of, yes, commuting, after suffering the stress caused by the season, the traffic, the stress, the hassle caused by the season which isn't even at its peak yet, as i told a good friend (hope you don't mind that i share this) who thought that maybe i am just allergic to other people, something i sorta agree with because i am fed up with all the information, unsolicited ones, irrelevant ones, that clutter my feed, but,

12.12.12: 12.21.12 soon

today: i bought two books; and speculated, realized, how far the technology of cloning could have been because of paul landers and richard dawkins; and i voluntarily "revised" an artwork. i am finishing a calendar; and i am fabricating a bionote; and i have been tripping on rammstein and on laibach and on apocalyptica the whole week, month, realizing things in the process. i am sharing a lifted initial table of contents: "Illustrations by Tilde Acuna; Exordium, by Vince Torres; Apokalipto, mula sa Bintana ng Nishi-Gotanda Library, ni Kristoffer Berse; Heartless Mother at the End of the World, by Julian de la Cerna; Notes on an Ascent, by Dean Francis Alfar; There is No Emergency, by Chingbee Cruz; What’s as Inexorable as an Ice Cream Meteorite Approaching Earth? by Crystal Koo; The Hardest Profession in the World War + Papi Machete + Pinoi Autonomous Oblast Region + Persian Eruption, by Aser Peleg; The Sign of Hermes, by Chiles Samaniego; Labi ng lahat sa labing-apat na linya, ni Ayer Arguelles; Notes on the Plagues, by Eliza Victoria; The Rapture, by Mica Agregado; We Will Die in the Water, by Rupert Bustamante; Variations on Armageddon + Again + The Sky is Falling, by Alyza Taguilaso; A Fatal Error has Occurred, by Mark Anthony Cayanan; No eyes behind our heads, by May Dy; Too Much, God, Too Much, by Eva Gubat; Manila Gothic, by May Dy; Rehearsal of Transit at the MRT, by Eva Gubat; Planetarium, by Chiles Samaniego; Of House This End, by Mia Tijam; New Year, by Fidelis Tan; cne, by Trizha Ko; Wake + Art Class, by Loh Guan Liang; Small Endings, by Hillary Go; Nobody is Watching, by Kristine Ong Muslim; Spoil, by Michelle Esquivias; The First Ocean; Caterpillar, by Kristine Ong Muslim; The End of the Word, by Ria Rigoroso; Litanya ng Matandang Ulupong + Soliloquy of the Olde Serpent, by Tilde Acuna; happiness&madness, by Gerecho Iniel Cruz;" these are initial contents of an antho edited by adam david, an antho that i will mention at the end of this post. i will scan the "revised" artwork and submit it with the fabricated bionote tomorrow; and i will be published in the end-of-the-world antho THURSDAY NEVER LOOKING BACK. 12.15.UPDATE:YBB.LINK

factsheet6, siklab, rights3, bltxxx, qbccc3, zines

this is a nostalgia-tripping, looking-back, noting-to-self-what-i-have-been-doing post, so please bear w me. first things first, because tomorrow, we march to commemorate the international human rights day. way back 2010, we made a stop-motion vid to show the human rights situation in the philippines:

imagined all the people.

 

(note: i am supposed to do an unsolicited progress report thing to self but let me offer this space for john lennon. the tragedy happened thirty two years ago. let me plug: if you want to humanize him, venerate him with understanding, you may heed the call of the lachrymologists. more info about the project [here], about the group [here]. tomorrow or the day after, i shall plug things that have been, are ongoing and will [hopefully] be. sighs.)

belated hapi boni

spent yesterday commemorating and celebrating the life of the supremo at the streets of mendiola in the afternoon and watching "pitong sundang" in the evening. so, here gat andres is a drawing.

(p.s. also, to make your november 30 more productive: try visiting the blog bonifacio papers; or maybe learning from mark twain quotes. why mark twain? besides being anti-imperialist, twas also his birthday yesterday.

p.p.s. another reminder, secure and save your data from your multiply site. i think the export tool may only be used until december 1. that's today. yesterday's november 30. sorry for messing w you. that is all. kbye.)

calls: uban & siklab

oh, found two calls it makes me wanna hahahuhu

for more information: [link][like]

for more information: [link][like]

nov 23? remember?

mesostic meanderings speak nothing about something (or is it the other way around?)

got the idea from tekstong bopis, but unlike him, i am too, what, inconsiderate to explain my process. i am not even sure if i did it right, but i would like to suppose that i did, and that my interventions are permissible. made four. quantity over quality? i suggest the taglish ones be read as a pair. though they may stand, wait, i am already explaining, so, i stop and present the nothings i have to say using the mesostomatic:

characters | stories

this senseless quasinstagramming began with a facebook album with the note: "images herein are characters that belong to their respective stories and/or storytellers. lame editing and labeling and manipulating, care of yours truly. ~tilde a. (if image/s in this repository happen/s to belong to you, and you want it removed, or you want to be credited, or whatever action you deem necessary, please inform me. no copyright infringement or any such related offense intended. thank you.)" since there are a total of eighteen characters in the album, and my blog has been idle, why not put them up here, to celebrate the sort of debut (wtf, eh?): 18 characters, each with a respective story, that i may or may not use as inspiration one of these days. the labels are, of course, not official labels but subjective ones, thus serving as a personal interpretation with each of the characters. for instance, i labelled chihiro a child-laborer because i go with the reading that indeed hayao miyazaki's magnum opus is somewhat a "nightmare of capitalist Japan." but, of course, not all are in-depth readings, as some titles or roles or symbolims or whatever-the-fvcks are obvious. that is all. i thank you for dropping by. bye.

chihiro. the child-laborer.

nais (mula sa retaso)

pagbati, dostoevsky at vonnegut! maisalin ko nawa kayo. balang araw.

Nais*

Madalas kaysa hindi, kakatwa ang paninimbang ko sa mga praktikal na usapin. Nangangahas ako sa pangunahing mga hakbang, ngunit humihinto rin pagkatapos ng mga paunang pagtatangka. At wala kang makukuhang pakinabang bago ang pangalawang mga pagtatangka. Nagkakaroon ako ng maraming kaalaman at nakakaligtaan ang pagbalik at pakikipagkita sa mga ito dahil nakakabato sila para sa akin.

Hindi ko lubusang mapagtagumpayang kumbinsihin ang sarili na may mga bagay talagang sadyang umiiral. Tinuturing kong natuldukan na ang kanilang pag-iral kapag tinantanan ko na silang pag-isipan. O kahit papaano'y wala na silang gana sa akin kapag nawalan na ako ng gana sa kanila. Para sa akin, salamin ang daigdig, at namamangha ako tuwing pangit ang pinapakita nitong repleksyon sa akin.

Isa lamang dapat ang ninanais ng isang tao at dapat itong naisin nang tapat. Nang sa gayo'y matiyak na masusumpungan ito, mapapasakamay, maaangkin. Subalit hinahangad ko ang lahat ng bagay at bilang resulta nito, wala akong anumang nakakamtan, napapasakamay, naaangkin. Nalalaman ko na lamang (tunay ngang nasa huli ang pagsisisi) na nilapitan na pala ako ng isang bagay habang may ibang bagay akong hinahabol.

*burador. bahagi ng kasalukuyang proyektong balak na may tentatibong pamagat na "retaso: mga tagni sa talaarawan ni gide (transliterasyon ni tilde acuña)." nawa'y mailabas bilang illustrated zine bago matapos ang taon, at hindi maudlot, pakiusap, mga bathala at diwata. pero kung mauudlot, so be it, hindi ipipilit.

naririto na rin ang mga tab na aking ibabahagi bago tuluyang isara dahil wala lang, pagbabalik lang ng pabor ng mga nagbahagi nito, noon, ngayon, bukas, ganyan, share share:

gawi (mula sa retaso)

Gawi*

Ang pag-intindi sa sariling kaligtasan? Egotismo. Pagkamakasarili. Hindi kailanman dapat isipin ng bayani ang kanyang kaligtasan. Kusang-loob at agaw-buhay niyang itinalaga ang sarili sa kapahamakan para sa kapakanan ng iba; lahat ng ito bilang pagpapatotoo.

Huwag bigyang-pansin ang pagpapatampok. Tanging ang pagiging ang mahalaga. At huwag maghangad--nang dahil sa kapalaluan--ng mabilisang pagpapatotoo ng katuturan. Kung saan: huwag sikaping maging sa pamamagitan ng hambog na pagnanasang matampok, kundi dahil marapat na magkagayon.

*burador. bahagi ng kasalukuyang proyektong balak na may tentatibong pamagat na "retaso: mga tagni sa talaarawan ni gide (transliterasyon ni tilde acuña)." nawa'y mailabas bilang illustrated zine bago matapos ang taon, at hindi maudlot, pakiusap, mga bathala at diwata. pero kung mauudlot, so be it, hindi ipipilit.

undasalin: maningning

uy, 143rd entry! pagkatapos ng putol ay ang salin ng inyong lingkod ng tula ni maningning miclat. may sarili niyang salin ang makatang nagpatiwakal, pero pangako, hindi ko iyon sinilip bago ko ininterpret via salin, wateber the fvck dat means, ang kanyang tula mula sa ingles. ang naging paborito kong tula ni maningning miclat ay yung para sa kanyang namayapa na, sa kanyang pinaglalaanan ko taun-taon ng paggunita tuwing oktubre, yung tula ay "paghuli sa saglit at pagpapanatili nito habang buhay" na noong mayo ipinaskil dito sa carcosite. bago ang lahat, nais ko munang ibahagi lahat ng tab na nakabukas bago ko sila ipagsasasara lahat kasi gusto ko lang magbahagi dahil ibinahagi rin sila ng ilang kaibigan. may naispatang tumblr site alay kay death ng endless. at mga tula ni chingbee cruz sa cordite. at mga ugnay (link?) bilang pagdiriwang kay vonnegut, at mga pabalat ng unang edisyon ng mga akda niya. at zombie bilang alipin. at tulang "alabanza" ni espada. at mga kuhang larawan ni vanya berezkin, tampok si nadezhda ng pussy riot. ang kasalukuyang kinahuhumalingang pagmumukha:

At Pagkatapos ay ang Sakit ng Ulo
interpretasyon (?) ni tilde acuña ng tula ni maningning miclat

Sa Kaniyang Bumabasa sa Akin (Borges)

burador, as useless. pakasabog lang.

Sa Kaniyang Bumabasa sa Akin
sobrang layang salin ni Tilde Acuña
ng salin ni Tony Barnstone
ng tula ni Jorge Luis Borges

Hindi ka matitinag. Hindi ba nila ipinahatid
(silang mga puwersang humahawak sa iyong kapalaran)
ang katiyakan ng alabok? Hindi kaya maaaring
ang oras mong di-maibabalik ay ang mismong ilog
na nagtataglay ng salaming maliwanag na nagpabatid kay Baybayan
ng kanyang pagiging panandalian? Inilaan ang isang tipak ng marmol
para sa iyo, iyon bang hindi mo babasahin, nakalilok na
sa lungsod, lapida, mga petsa ng patay.
At mga panaginip ng panahon ang ibang tao,
hindi tansong pinatigas, gintong pinalinis. Sila'y alabok
katulad mo; si Alimugkat ang sansinukob.
Anino, magbibiyahe ka sa kung anong nakaungos na naghihintay,
ang nakamamatay na aninong naghihintay sa gilid.
Dalumatin ito: kahit papaano'y namatay ka na.

Ang Katotohanang Nalalaman ng Patay (Anne Sexton)

burador, as useless. all souls kasi, motherfvckers. so sad, you're dead.

Ang Katotohanang Nalalaman ng Patay
sobrang layang salin ni Tilde Acuña ng tula ni Anne Sexton

Wala na, sabi ko sabay larga mula sa simbahan,
nang tumatanggi sa prusisyong naninigas sa puntod,
nang hinahayaan ang bangkay na mag-isang lulan ng karo.
Hunyo ngayon. Pagod na akong maging matapang.

Tumulak kami tungong Malampaya. Aking nilinang
ang sarili kung saan umaandap-andap ang araw sa himpapawid,
kung saan umiindayog ang karagatang tila tarangkahang bakal
at nagkadaup-palad tayo. Sa ibang bayan namamatay ang mga tao.

Aking sinta, lumalagapak ang hangin na parang mga bato
mula sa tubig na pinilakan ang puso at nang nagkadaup-palad tayo
napadpad ang kabuuan natin sa palad. Walang nag-iisa.
Pumapatay ang mga tao para rito, o para sa ganitong halaga.

At ano naman hinggil sa patay? Nakahimlay sila nang walang panyapak
sa kanilang mga bangkang bato. Mas higit silang kawangis ng bato
kaysa sa karagatan sakaling mapigilan ito. Tumatanggi silang
mabiyayaan, lalamunan, mata at buto ng mga daliri.

shit, sem ends: farewells, books, flashbacks

octoberust appeared like a selfulfiling prophecy that is but a mere hint of apparition once compared with last year's month-long harvest from the first til the last day of the month preceding samhain with a countdown as if going higher up or lower down a lift [oh, here is a screencap from Brazil]

as i've remarked hours ago, probably more than half a yesterday ago, how art thou, attention span? can't even finish watching a film in one sitting. if this isn't anxiety, don't know what the fvck this is. in the process of struggling with anxiety, i think i've heard sam lowry and I ask, you're dead, i've killed you--? to which jill layton and you answered in unison, care for some necrophilia? and after the journey into the mindfvck of a labyrinthine brazil, after a couple of sittings, their story concluded, and i find myself

Salin (Milosz + Zagajewski)

After the cut are translations (of translations?) of poems originally written by two favorite Polish poets, next, of course, to dear Szymborska. "Try to Praise the Mutilated World" by Adam Zagajewski; and "Faith" by Czeslaw Milosz.

nickel victory (melon plug)

the "positive version (? ie with colors not ctrl+i-ed ?)" of the piece "nickel victory" shall be included in the second collection of Melon, "a mini-comic pin-up collection by some of the most talented (and friendly) local komik creators in the scene." it shall be available at the komikon 2012 next saturday, october 27, where there shall also be copies, i believe, of quarterly bathroom companion comics compendium (qbccc). not sure if the plague anthology shall also be available, since copies were sold during the summer komikon. no new title from me this year. no booth as well. busy as hell with the usual acad hell week and recent smite week of, you know, well, you shall know, if you don't, i would rather not discuss as you might not be interested.* re: nickel victory, i don't think i can really do, you know, pin-ups but i guess somehow i have achieved something however trivial by having nickel victory included in such a collection. salamat sa mga nangalap ng dibuho. that is all kbye. *just in case you are interested, read teo marasigan's take on the issue of akbayan's disqualification. how i hate foolish hearts, drama kings, and their ilk.

* 1800 update. melon posted a cover. appending it here: *

ten eleven twelve

not really mm dd yy or month day year but day day day where ten is yesterday eleven is today twelve is tomorrow, thus, this day encompasses all time, how profound and meaningful, so let me share how things are amid my recent inactivity in social media where i was more or less average in terms of being active. i plan to stay inactive, as being a vicarious spectator seems kinda fine (and fun, look at whatever the fvck these jesters or university publications are discussing. well, at least, the religious fanatics remain passionate with their stand, the jesuits point out how fanatical the fanatics are, and the brothers stand for all the stands of all the people in the world and beyond. fun. observing is fine. and fun.). i am involved offline anyway (cybercrime law TRO? i was in the streets in front of the supreme court with the critics of the controversial law last october 9, protesting, so here i am to reap what we sow, and to dare say the people who see any good with that law shall go fvck themselves). anyway. life update slash prompt. after. this. cut.

as always, PH prevails

good morning apologists. defend the Leader.

shameless eraserase plug

[source]

amid all the hack and slash and all those v masks and blocked comments and blacked photos to bomb the fvck out of the brains of the champions of cybercrime law and the bullcrap of the palace's apologists comes a timely read that was sorta forecasted months ago. enough of the lengthy intro as life-threatening deadlines fire warning shots from all directions. [click here] to view and / or download "THE WORDS GET IN THE WAY #1, an anthology of erasures! Not featuring non-work from Angelo Suarez, Tilde Acuña, Nerisa Del Carmen Guevara, Petra Magno, A Despi, and Katrina Alvarez!" assembled by adam david. *update 10062012 0445: along w this zine, see other new titles from youth and beauty brigade [here] and on a not-so-related note, something from Datu's Tribe:

"Kung may PAKI ka sa mga nangyayari ngayon sa Pilipinas, PAKI-kalat, PAKI-SHARE, PAKI-upload sa torrent sites, PAKI-download at PAKI-burn sa cd at ipamigay itong mga kanta galing sa huling album namin. Punung-puno ng mga maaanghang na love songs na dinededix namin sa presidente't mga senador na pulpol na nagpasa sa Cybercrime Law!!! Eto ang link: http://www.mediafire.com/?a8ct31cqbhanx

Pakiusap lang, PINAMIMIGAY ITO NG LIBRE kaya wag pagkakitaan (kasi di kami kumita dito, hahaha!) #iamnotacriminal \m/@@\m/"*

and so, england prevails

october rust, bloody monday

having a bloody hellweek in all aspects you can think of. and oh, btw,

cyber martial law uranus. see what i did there? of course you did.

stickerbomb disobedience

and now, let me share the exchanges i liked from the film adaptation i did not like much because sorcerer alan moore says so and because the intensity of the original version is many times more intense than-- hey, i am not here to rave about the comics and rant about its film adaptation but to share stickers that may be used as bombs and to reminisce that scene and thank imdb for their quotes page:

pagtae sa publikong kubeta

malayang sinalin ang bukas na liham mula sa thought catalog. kasi, stressed. marami rin akong bahaging hindi na isinalin. kasi, stressed. mas solid ang alaala ng karanasan pag sa ganitong wika. ata. osiya. tae lang nang tae. kahit kras mo, idol mo, tumatae, punyeta. may pelikula, pinakitang tumatae si god

Bukas na liham sa taong tumatae nang tahimik sa pampublikong kubetang katabi (patae-taeng alin ni Tilde Acuña ng liham ni Julia Reinstein)

screencaps links joys of the day: google and anons

happy 14th birthday google. i'm feeling lucky.

happy hacking anonymous: news. here's the hacked list:
(1) http://www.bsp.gov.ph/ (2) http://mwss.gov.ph/
(3) http://amchamphilippines.com/ (4) http://www.papt.org.ph/default.aspx
(5) http://www.r3denr.com/ (6) http://www.smokefree.doh.gov.ph/
(7) http://idea.org.ph/ good mornings are made of these. sighs.

shameless pagmulat plug

i think they published three of my poems. go get a copy. karMa kolektib is a uplb-based student organization. i think this is their first zine since i left and graduated and wandered elsewhere and so on. apir jesa and jona and karMa residents. contact them, stalk them, haunt them and get a copy. lifted from their page:

"Mula sa kadiliman sa pagkakasara ng mga talukap,
magpupumilit manghimasok ang liwanag--marahan,
hanggang siyang pikit ang kusang magmumulat ng sariling mata.

PAGMULAT /Koleksyon ng mga tula mula sa Kartunista-Manunulat Kolektib /P20 /Para makakuha ng kopya, kontakin lang ang kahit na sinong kasapi ng KarMa Kolektib. (O pwede ring mag-iwan ng order sa Karma Komiks.)"

august's words + images

had the pleasure of writing four articles for the august issue of u.p. newsletter. SONA Total at mga Ambag na Naratibo. Lucero's fiction celebrated, 'La India' launched. "Hindi nagreretiro ang manunulat," -- JCR. Pause: Mahabang Saglit bago ang Misyon (Rebyu ng Elevator Action). find yourself a copy. or browse or download it here. also, u.p. forum arrived yesterday. download link or see digital copy here. had an article published. Beyond the Bark: Reexamining our Roots. btw, news about plants and benguet is up. had two artworks published. roots. bulul. here:

would link articles some day. that is all. and, visited elbi last sunday. grin.
*updated: 1525 09252012*

the week that was

on earth are hells and heavens. there are times when such are not places but people. glad to see a fair mix of both boths last week. hells heavens places people. tomorrow is another mix. bitter is boring. sweet is boring. bittersweet is the shit. today, the monster arrived. something that made my day. yes, it is a monster made of paper but, no, not the paper monster that sells contributors' copy, given the chance. i hate how i bear grudges. this bearing of grudges is something that shall make things interesting tomorrow. back to the monster: the monsters and the monstrous journal found its way after being lost. editor simon bacon has been accommodating and has never failed to communicate promptly, unlike that other monster. however, thanks to nature's attempt at making things balanced, things remain fvcked up. i returned to our olde house and the books i left months ago remained fvcked. the nameless habagat motherfvcker (that wrought havoc and delayed oceania) damaged my books as well and i knew about it after about a week or two. among the casualties i treasure most and i remember are two bertolt brechts, a wole soyinka, an august strindberg. i have brought home clean ones, those that i could bring and stack since i don't have a shelf yet. i shall revive brecht, soyinka, strindberg and the others come semestral break. and learn the art of necromancy. and, hey u.p. pep squad. good job. u.p. fight! for education. wishful thinking. time's running out. until then. hello, whoever the fvck you are. see you in one or more of my four to five nightmares every day.

*edited this entry today, september 24. also, read RT's "Cheerdance competition: sports exemplar ng U.S. empire at neoliberalismo sa edukasyon" [here]*

Vietnam sa tatlong wika (Szymborska)

pagkatapos ng cut ang english at polish na bersyon. ang filipinong bersyon ay salin ng inyong lingkod mula sa naispatang ingles na bersyon. tula diumano ni Wislawa Szymborska, pero hindi ko malaman kung sinong ikecredit sa salin mula sa orihinal tungong ingles. ginugunita ngayon ang deklarasyon ng batas militar. may exhibit sa u.p. diliman at los baños. at maraming shit noong may martial law at ngayong may cybercrime law na sa esensya, e-martial law pero hindi nangangahulugang makakasapat ang e-struggle upang lansagin ito. k? k.

"Ale, ano'ng pangalan mo?" "Ewan ko."
"Ilang taon ka na? Saan ka nakatira?" "Ewan ko."
"Bakit ka naghukay ng lungga?" "Ewan ko."
"Gaano katagal ka nang nagtatago?" "Ewan ko."
"Bakit mo kinagat ang daliri ko?" "Ewan ko."
"Hindi mo ba alam na hindi ka namin sasaktan?" "Ewan ko."
"Kanino ka kampi?" "Ewan ko."
"Digmaan ito, kailangan mong pumili." "Ewan ko."
"May buhay pa ba sa sityo ninyo?" "Ewan ko."
"Mga anak mo ba'ng mga 'yan?" "Oo."

and so we fall on our knees

god, i have to have this album. i have been tripping on trip hop and funk and psychedelic and not/non/un-metal things, but this, this find is, is so timely. let me repent in penance and break whatever the trend the previous posts made and ask for this one thing. this is all i'll ever ask before this month ends, as gehenna complains, vermiis is half-full, or half-empty, depending on one's perspective, so, here, this i pray and 

and so i pray by listening to three full albums of doom:

HESA a.m., MIBF p.m.

yesterday, early in the morning, i happen to see that two of my attempts at poetry are up at HESA inprint: "((random) remarks)" and "Notes on the Flashing Yellow Light that Kept on Winking," the former being a villanelle, the latter being a prose poem and some time in the near future, shall hopefully be something else, and that something else is something i look forward to as i have a probable conspirator with that something else. what i find pleasant about HESA and most independent group of creatives, publishers, writers, so and so, that i worked with by means of mere submission is that they respond promptly and i find that human and i find it beautiful early in the morning as, with the latter piece, i emailed them about minor changes that needed to be made and they responded and they delivered and through them i sort of re-earned, at the very least, the trust i have lost in writing and art communities and in humanity, so sensitive of me, so exaggerated but yes. yes, i am driving at something as paper monster press calls for submissions at panitikan.com.ph [submit!] and had their call posted elsewhere, many elsewheres, promising things they previously failed to deliver as they do not actually reserve contributors' copies but instead have them sold [shame!], given the chance. chance! chances are,

we would really cross paths with people whom we share similar interests w. saw the ser dums, and other friends, old and new. at the 33rd MIBF yesterday, from early in the afternoon til early in the evening, i hunted for books, failed to find some, but so far, my haul was quite a catch. and, the cost quite a lot, pitted against what i-- anyway, nope, no enumeration of books, just booths, stalls. not sure if powerbooks and national bookstore had their powers merged, but it seems so. spent the most at nbs. spent the least at, guess what, ateneo press, but god, i shall save up for that prof chari book. i guess in terms of quantity, that was new day publishing, and maybe, breadth, "harvests" from ilocos, mindanao, cebu, etc. in terms of quality, of course the bias, and thus, i have the special mention of titles from the university of the philippines press (i think it also maintains panitikan.com.ph): rosario cruz-lucero's "feast and famine: stories of negros" and edel garcellano's "knife's edge: selected essays." both are newfound favorite (not just writers, but, i don't know, characters, maybe and, as they are) intellectuals. both have books i shall have soon. the former's "ang bayan sa labas ng maynila" and the latter's "vanishing history & other poems," though poems in this collection are accessible online.

too much time spent. things left undone. blog entry too long. ending with "Notes..." after this p.s. that i saw a poetry collection of billy corgan that i did not purchase because i did not have the money for it yet as i have the money for the the things i have purchased and, you know, we have to allocate resources during these critical times when basic needs need to be sacrificed for vices such as books, so, here, a prose poem:

Mga Bulawang Bundok (Rozewicz )

burador palagi. tumagay ng berso. sa panahon ng lumbay. sa sandali ng panghihinayang na sana ay ganito at sana ay ganoon. andami kong shit. ipagpatawad. buntonghininga. paglilinaw: hindi pa ako veinteseis.

Mga Bulawang Bundok
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña ng salin ni 
Wlodek Fenrych ng tula ni Taduesz Rozewicz 
sa himig ng mga pangitain ni Franz Sedlacek

Isang Tinig (Rozewicz)

burador palagi.

Isang Tinig
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña ng salin ni 
Czeslaw Milosz ng tula ni Tadeusz Rozewicz
sa himig ng mga pangitain ni Zdzislaw Beksinski

factsheet artvocacy++

martial law commemoration draws near. to young Filipinos who never knew martial law and dictatorship, they may opt to read up.* today, cronies take seemingly other yet similar shapes. vencer crisostomo asks what malacañang's fave desert is. he answers: maka-puno. as human rights violations take seemingly other yet similar shapes until today, we raise our fists. through different forms. among these forms? art. after the cut are posters and invites lifted from the ARTvocacy page. below this paragraph is my entry to the factsheet #6 visual arts exhibit in UPLB. title: "Nang Mag-agaw-dilim ang mga Kabataang Mangangaso sa Majayjay;" medium: print on tarpaulin (?); fact sheet: extrajudicial and frustrated killing. there shall be a Rights screening. not sure if "Pissed Off," my collaborative work w mikel, is included. but, go, attack, watch, participate, in any way, in one or all of the activities.

himagsik + protesta

[lahat ng naririto ay kinuha mula sa pahina ng KARAPATAN]

"Isang memorabilia exhibit ng mga bagay na may kinalaman sa panahon ng Batas Militar na pagmamay-ari ng isang dating aktibista noong Martial Law, isang personalidad o icon, o replika ng naturang gamit. Kaakibat ng bawat piyesa ay artikulo/sanaysay o likhang sining tungkol sa memorabilia item o sa taong itinatampok na gawa ng ang isang bagong henerasyong aktibista o kabataan.
Magbubukas ang exhibit sa ika-14 ng Setyembre, 2012 (Biyernes) ng alas-4:00 ng hapon sa Basement lobby ng UP Diliman Main Library. Iniimbitahan po ang lahat na dumalo at gunitain ang protesta at himagsik noong Martial Law at muling sariwain ang mga buhay at sakripisyo, mga aral, kabiguan at tagumpay ng kilusan ng mamamayan na humubog sa kasaysayan ng bansa.
TULOY ANG LABAN! NEVER AGAIN TO MARTIAL LAW!"

tower-lighting for three september elevens

911 marks the dictator makoy's birth, the death of allende, and of course, the most recent, just, uhm, 11 years ago, the w.t.c. towers. thus, i draw a tower from a tarot deck, for celebrating the fall of one of the third world's hitlers during his very birthday (1917) [more info]; for condemning the imperialist-backed coup spearheaded by pinochet that ended the leadership of, if i am not mistaken, the (only?) marxist president democratically-elected in a socialist state (1973) [more info]; and for remembering the two towers that sent innocent people to their deaths because of the machinations of warmongering imperialists and corporations that require a lot of dollars for the two towers to be remembered (2001) [more info]. p.s: 2100 update: interaksyon.com lists births [read more]. happy 35th, LFS!

Mga Anak ng Ating Panahon

tulad ng unang nabanggit, parang gusto kong isalin nang isalin si szymborska hanggang lahat ng piyesa niya ay maisafilipino (o tagalog, okay), bagamat may ilan na rin, tiyak, na gumagawa na nito. sa ngayon, hindi naman malaking isyu ang pagsasalin tulad ng nangyayari sa mga obrang pampanitikang kalebel ng mga akda ni dostoyevsky. sa mga ganyang antas, nagkakaroon na ng "translation wars." nakapagbahagi ng insight si ser D. hindi naman kasi talaga maiiwasang sumingit ang biases at sensibilities ng tagasalin. minsan tuloy naiisip ko, kung paano kaya kung may sablay na salin halimbawa sa mga sinulat halimbawa nina lenin, o ni mao zedong na death anniversary kahapon na ginawan ng comics ng kung sinuman na binahagi sa akin ni ser R ang link;

at nakakita rin ako sa aking feed ng link (si mam J ata ang nag-post) sa isang piyesa tungkol sa isang rebolusyonaryong binibining dating jing-jing lang sa kanyang kaibigan at ngayo'y pangalan na ng isang gerilyang yunit, isang command sa katunayan, ng bagong hukbong bayan. naririyan ang larawan niya sa ibaba, at kasunod nito (matapos ang cut) ay ang salin ng inyong lingkod ng tula ni szymborska na alay sa isang tinitingalang aktibistang kakaluwal lamang ng isang anak. ayaw ko siyang pangalanan kahit hindi naman itinatago ang kanyang pagkakaroon ng sanggol, at bahala na ang sinumang makababasa nito kung papaano aangkinin ang tula at ilalapat sa kanyang karanasan. tulad ng anumang tekstong isinalin, ang tama at maling interpretasyon, marahil, e masusukat sa kasalukuyang pangangailangan ng mambabasa. andami kong shit.

[larawan mula sa bantayog.org]

Mga Anak ng Ating Panahon
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña ng salin ni
Joanna Trzeciak ng tula ni Wislawa Szymborska

belated, feminist mother mary

i am supposed to cram a part of one of the three projects i shall be working on and here i am drawing a portrait of some sort. if memory serves me right, the last portrait of some sort that i sketched was some sort of chileana. belated, to the saint or holy mother virgin of some sort that the feminist punks sort of offered a prayer or something that got them into a little trouble of some two years of imprisonment for hooliganism or some kinda crime that some authority of some country labeled as crime. but, hey, again, belated, virgin mother of christ.

blaked: urizen: anniv

as mentioned yesterday, it has exactly been a year. and it has been more than half a decade since karMa kolektib's birth, and light, or dark rays, or whatever seems to be shining recently (after the cut is the poster with the details for their crash course on character design that shall be held at UPLB come september 10, with prof. emmanuel dumlao in the morning and resident karMa members in the afternoon; poster design by jesapearl tamayo; layout by jobaliw yang). glad to exchange messages with the old ones. and, it has been months since i have tried weaving an image. i have been asked to draw for a publication. a sort of pressure that, well, causes pleasure on my end. whatever that means. but, really, being productive makes one feel, i don't know, nice. so, here, i present

a feeling of being created (and maybe, of being a creator? i don't know). there. after william blake's "Book of Urizen - the creation of Urizen in material form by Los," way back 1794. that is all. i thank you. glad to "translate" an image this time.

Karaniwang Buhay (Zagajewski)

si szymborska dapat ang isasalin ko dahil adbans kong niregaluhan ang sarili sa unang taon ng pagiging kawani. ng ano? ng kuleksyon niya ng mga tula, yung "Here," at first time ko atang bumili ng librong ganoong kanipis tas ganoong kamahal, so bourgeois pero ewan ko, mahal ko si szymborska at iba pang taga-poland dahil karaniwang kaunti ang patinig sa kanilang pangalan (o si wislawa lang yun at si czeslaw). ang likhang sining nga pala ay kay beksinski. that is all. i thank you, source ng artwork ni zdzislaw, i thank you cosmos nakatagpo ako ng

***

Karaniwang Buhay
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña ng salin ni 
Clare Cavanagh ng tula ni Adam Zagajewski

Pag-aagaw-dilim sa Taglamig

higit isang linggo na nang binili ko ang A Book of Luminous Things: An International Anthology na tinipon at pinamatnugutan ni Czeslaw Milosz. nilimbag ito ng Harcourt. binili ko ito sa National Bookstore. hindi ito kabilang sa kanilang sale. atat akong magbasa ng mga tula kaya pinatos ko na rin. sa kasamaang palad, dalawang pahina nito ang blangko. wala akong oras para idaan ito sa Cubao. at, maari kong isaglet doon bukas dahil dulot ng katangahang walang kinalaman sa mga pinagsasabi ko rito, may kailangan akong puntahan sa nasabing erya.

nag-iisa lamang ang nasabing aklat nang matiyempuhan ko at duda akong may stock, kaya iniisip ko kung papalitan ko pa ba o o ibabalik o hahanapin ko na lamang ang nawawalang mga tula. nakita ko naman mga ito sa internet. ang isa sa dalawa ay isinalin ko sa ibaba. Dusk in Winter ni W.S. Merwin. ang isa ay ang Odysseus to Telemachus ni Joseph Brodsky. naispatan ko rin sa cyberspace. Hindi ko pa napasadahan nang buo ang antolohiya. sana nama'y wala nang nawawalang piyesa. mula sa panlilinlang ng paper monster press, patungo rito. gandang simula ng setyembre. kulang nang kulang nang kulang

Ang Kutob (Strand)

hayaan akong ulitin ang sarili at ibahagi ito sa gitna ng ambang pananalasa ng tsunami sa ilalim ng asul diumanong buwan sa saliw ng cello at tinig ni melora sa pagwawakas ng buwan ng wika sa pagsisimula na naman ng setyembreng nagsimula rin dati sa panahong inakalang magiging maayos ang daloy ng lahat.

Ang Kutob
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña
ng tula ni Mark Strand

Huling Hiling (Verlaine)

burador palagi.

Huling Hiling
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña
ng tula ni Paul Verlaine

Katabi ng isang hamak na bato, isang punong
Lumulutang sa simoy ng sementaryo,
Hindi nakatanim sa paggunita roon,
Ngunit 'di mapigil ang paglago, mabalasik, malaya.

May ibong dumating at dumapo roon upang humuni,
Tag-lamig at tag-init, naghahandog
Ng tapat nitong awitin—malungkot, matamis, mapait.
Ang punong iyon, ang ibong iyon ay ako at ikaw:

Ikaw, gunita; pagkawala, ako, ang agos na iyon
At talaan ng panahon. Hay, sa iyong tabi
Ang mabuhay muli, hindi namamatay! Tumpak,

Ang mabuhay muli! Aking giliw,
Ngayo'y kahungkagan, lamig, umaangkin sa aking laman...
Mapananatili bang masigla ng pagmamahal mo ang gunita?

dreadful, shameful plug: PMP's "asuang" issue, sold out; among the sales are contributors' copies

i think i have burned a lot of bridges. enough bridges to make me think twice of burning another. there are still debts left unpaid. from individuals. even from institutions. i also have debts i am yet to pay. but i am resolved that i will pay them. beating around the bush is over. let us get to the point while i remain pissed at my bag being soaked despite the preparation i thought was enough, fvcking weather, anyway, so, here goes whatever goes:

upon knowing that my prose poem was chosen for publication, i felt the usual feeling of giggly victory of my work being approved by people other than besties. so, "Litanya ng Matandang Ulopong" made it to the "asuang" issue of paper monster press. wait. "Ulopong." well, the spelling is accepted but it does not hit the spot, the sound is, er, an eyesore. "Ulopong." and, besides, i did not commit the typographical error as "Litanya ng Matandang Ulupong" was the title upon my submission. thinking that there might be a reason behind the edit, i inquired and found out that it is a mistake. but it remained uncorrected. fun. plus, my artwork was modified for the cover. fun. so, i implied in another post how impossibly pissed i am. then, i let it pass. inhale. exhale. relax. if zen may be invoked w sotto and the trapos and the circus of happenings, then this peeve shall pass.

until. i inquired of the complimentary copy. something that this small press promised contributors, those whose works shall be accepted for publication. in fact, they have a call for submission for their "firestarter" issue. go. try your luck. submit. and i quote: "The deadline is on September 30, 2012. Contributors get 1 complimentary copy + a warm fuzzy feeling of seeing their name on print. ;)" below the cut is my exchange through personal message with PMP editor ayn frances dela cruz. i could tell based on-- well, once you exchanged messages, you will know how one writes, right? so, here, see for yourself, use discourse analysis if you may and decide whether you will put your work through their lenses and have your work published with-- i dont know. you find out:

Ang Bulan (Borges)

maraming naiuugnay sa buwan. ang huli ang pagpanaw ng diumanong unang taong nakatapak dito, si Neil Armstrong, r.i.p. (delayed na naman nang kaunti ang pakikiramay sa mundo, tulad nung kay jerry nelson, pasensiya na.) ang bawat mythos, madalas sa hindi, may diyos/ang partikular sa buwan. ang kasamang pelikulang nasa orb ng oceania concert nang awitin nila ang "tonight, tonight" ay "Trip to the Moon" ni Georges Méliès na makikita rin sa pelikulang "Hugo."

[source]

at maging ang mga kwento ng paboritong kwentista, hindi nakaliligtas sa alindog ng buwan, halimbawa'y ang "Distance of the Moon" ni Calvino, at ngayo'y itong tula ni Borges (bagamat, siyempre, mas kilala siyang kwentista pero maari, malamang, may kwento siya tungkol sa buwan, hindi ko lang mahagilap sa memorya sa kasalukuyan.) magkasunod palang namatay ang dalawang nabanggit. 1985 si Calvino, 1986 si Borges.

[source]

pinili ang salitang bulan para hindi gaanong maiugnay sa "month." at-- ayoko nang magpaliwanag pala-- silipin na lamang at saglit lang naman ngunit may lamlam pa rin ang liwanag

Ang Bulan
salin ni Tilde Acuña ng salin ni 
A.s. Kline ng tula ni Jorge Luis Borges

paaralan+kalikasan (Follain)

Paaralan at Kalikasan
salin ni Tilde Acuña
ng salin ni W.S. Merwin
ng tula ni Jean Follain

Nakaguhit sa pisara
ng silid-aralan sa isang bayan
isang bilog na nananatiling buo
at iniwanan ang upuan ng guro
at nag-uwian ang mga mag-aaral
may isang naglalayag sa baha
may isa namang solitaryong nag-aararo
at pakiwal-kiwal ang kalye
isang ibon ang nagpapatagas
ng itim na mga patak ng kanyang dugo.

"count dracula" tribute

 

[source]

now, heaven will know the body count, perhaps?

anyway, send my regards to borges, wherever your 

forking paths cross, be it in a garden or a wasteland.

or a library, or an e-library, or, hey, this 

can go on and on and on, so i stop to say, to sigh,

better late than never: rest in peace, jerry nelson.

sensya na ser kung eto lang ang kinaya. takits.

Reverence [ix]: Nadezhda

[cropped from source]

*About REVERENCE: Posts labeled with reverence are photographs or images of people the resident of the carcosite admires like a fangurl. Entries such as this shall have no caption or labels, besides this caption that shall blankly describe what REVERENCE is. So blank that all you can do is wander via google about the featured entity and wonder. Well, this is, simply, a facade for fangurling; and an attempt to pretend that the label REVERENCE means something. Yes, hollow words, I know. Good day. By the way, there is a good chance that I am preparing or planning some sort of (private) hagiography for revered entities featured herein. Not really, as time is so scarce a resource these days. sighs. Images below are lifted without permission from their respective sources. You may imprison me with her for copyright infringement if it pleases you. Kidding. Please tell me if you own the images and want your content removed.*

[source]

[source]

"We are freer than the people sitting opposite us for the prosecution because we can say everything we like, and we do, but those people sitting there say only what political censorship allows them to say."

pagsisisi (pagbati, borges)

kaarawan ni bradbury noong isang araw. gusto ko tuloy silipin ang zen in the art of writing. parang kailan lang nang mamaalam siya. wala akong ginawang kahit ano para sa kanya maliban sa recent excerpt translation dahil tinalakay ko naman ang katha niya sa isang kumperensya. ngayon, araw ni borges. bagamat tiyak na hindi kami magkakasundo sa pulitika, lubos ang paggalang ko sa kwentistang ito. on other news, nasasanay na ako sa facebook timeline at mas madali mag-nostalgia trip at maglibang sa mga kahibangang dala ng pagiging, ewan ko, kabataan bagamat hindi pa rin naman ako katandaan. isa pang other news, long weekend na naman at binabalak kong madama ang isang ito, hindi tulad nung nakaraang long weekend na ewan ko ba. ano pa ba? wala na maliban sa

Pagsisisi
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña
ng tula ni Jorge Luis Borges
[meron pa ritong dalawang salin]

good news bad news briefs

good news: as i post this entry, the conference is ongoing. i shall present my paper tomorrow, and i have received the schedule two days ago, but i did not have the luxury of access to the internet, so, there. bad news: upon logging in to facebook, i found out that i am about to be timelined. on the 29th. somehow a good news as i will be compelled to avoid facebook and to try being productive. good news: i have acquired new books and migrated old loved ones into the new home. bad news: besides less shelf space in the new home (no, um, real shelves, actually, just, i dont know, one constructed from books, anyway-- ), upon returning to the old home to fetch books, found out that some books had their near-death experiences because of the nameless storm that dared impede the oceania concert. victims however are recognizable, but they have to fight the disease. good news: i have been (re)reading and soundtripping and wallowing in coffee the whole loooong weekend, though some stuff on the list remained undone. boring for most, but more than enough for me. i guess that is about it. unsolicited life updates. i thank you.

link list in circles

[violetrays][clockwork][genesis]

[god's machina][goethe's colours][alex grey's]

[animals as leaders][labyrinth of borges][wu li masters]

this is how i intend to spend the long weekend.

[this is an oceania in manila download link]

[this one's a goethe color theory link]

paper re: little killers++

familar with stewie griffin from the show family guy? or, maybe, years ago, hiei or vincent from yu yu hakusho or ghost fighter when there were, you know, flashbacks with, you know, yukina or mikaela? or any fictional toddler with the wit not of a kid but of a trickster of some sort? if not, try remembering, dammit. so i can make you interested enough and invite you to a conference.

as i've mentioned in the previous post, i shall post the abstract of my presentation for the conference "LITERATURE, MEDIA, AND THE ROMANCE OF CHILDHOOD: States of Innocence and the Business of Frightening Our Children" after receiving the finalized schedule. however, as of the moment, looong weekend's coming and there's still no word as regards the definite programme. but, my abstract was accepted, i believe. otherwise, i dont know. i'd look like da vinci's fetus drawing because of shame. though i am not certain of the exact time, as i've mentioned, most probably, i'll present my paper come thursday morning. after the image [source] is the cut; after the cut, the abstract; after the abstract, an image i liked and lifted from paper monster press's page [asuang launch facebook event page here][pmp warning here]. after the image is a text lifted from the organizers' facebook event page. that is all. i thank you. (oh, while we're at it, further down this post are details of the exhibit of The Cabinet at kanto gallery.)

Birth Caul of Small Assassins: A Study of Unborns and Infants in Selected Comics and Folk Epics

shameless plug: confe re: children and literature

would be my first time to present a paper. nervous. title: "Birth Caul of Small Assassins: A Study of Unborns and Infants in Selected Comics and Folk Epics." other resource peeps from elbi, as far as i know, are sir chris and sir D. schedule's uncertain tho. but most probably, i will talk (and stutter) on the 23rd. would post the abstract upon receiving an email revealing the sched and so on. out of words. out of time. lifted the image and the text below the cut and after the image from the likhaan website.

Siklo ng Idlip (Dean Young)

bukod sa salin at maikling pagpapakilala, ibabahagi ko na lamang ang mahalagang impormasyon mula kay ma'am jonelle marin (ng departamento ng humanidades) tungkol kay Gaudiosa Albestor a.k.a. Tita Ghing: "Sa mga naging anak-anakan, kaibigan at kasama ni Tita Ghing, may ihahandang programa para sa kaniya sa Miyerkules, 8PM sa Heaven's Garden (Anos, Los Banos). Maaari po akong kontakin sa numerong ito para sa mga tanong at daloy ng programa. (0915*******)" (itanong na lamang sa akin o tignan sa facebook post ko ang # ni jonelle.) magpahinga, salamat sa pagkunsinti at sa pagsuporta at sa pagkupkop at sa pagpapakape at sa pakikipagtsikahan at sa pang-iisyu at sa pagpapakape at sa pagpapakape at sa marami pang pakikisamang hindi magkakasaya sa salita. -mula sa mga naging bahagi ng konseho ng mga mag-aaral (USC) at ng opisyal na pahayagang pang-estudyante (UPLB Perspective) at ng marami pang student organizations; at mula sa mga humihiram ng libro sa TERC (textbook exchange and rental center). hay.

Siklo ng Idlip
malayang salin ni Tilde Acuña
ng tula ni Dean Young
alay kay Tita Ghing

shorts [x]: lawa sa oktubre

walang kinalaman ang numerong 'x' sa piniling sipi. kaninang tanghali ko pa binasa ang kuwentong ito at napagpasyahang isalin kanina pa habang nanananghalian at hindi ko alam na ika-sampu na itong shorts. [tsinek ko at mula kay hunter s. thompson ang ika-ix.] andami kong shit na maaring ikunek-kunek sa iba pang shit tulad ng bukal ng pagkahumaling kong hindi pa nagwawakas pero tiyak namang magwawakas lalo at sapak sa buwan ang pagkakataong-- tama na. matapos ang ilang ligoy, naririto na ang kapiraso mula sa "The Lake" na siya ring piraso mula sa The October Country, kuleksyon ng mga kuwento ni Ray Bradbury:

evacuating multiply

mutiply cant keep up anymore. it will be with friendster, up their social networking heaven, bidding farewell, leaving things up to facebook so and so. below are few photographs containing memories. i shall evacuate stuff from my multiply account once the download account sort of option is possible. btw, the spraypainting photo, i believe, is rula's shot. the shadowplay photo, i believe, is anna's shot. that is all. hope to save most if not all evacuees soon, else these digital memories drown in the void.

orchid + oceania

[lifted without permission from somewhere]

"when the seas rose, genetics codes were smashed." those are the first words of the comic book Orchid, written by the nightwatchman tom morello, illustrated by scott hepburn. morello tells how an apathetic lumpen, the namesake of the comic book, begins to care during a hopeless time in a dystopian plane. in this volume, the epic tale unravels at the meeting point of environmental destruction and corporate greed, revealing morello's insight on politics and economy, and revisiting a portion of the narrative's history for a glimpse of how orchid's nightmare of a reality was brought about. Orchid comes with a musical score for each chapter, adding more effect to morello's concept and hepburn's visual storytelling. disclaimer: again, i am not an evil advertiser, but rolling stone says that morello brings class consciousness to comics. looking forward to the 2nd and 3rd volumes.

[cropped and arranged from images in #SPoceaniaTour]

further adding to the wrought havoc care of the nameless monsoon is the smashing pumpkins' Oceania concert here in manila. [manila bulletin: "no time to drown: billy corgan meets rain-soaked manila"] though the sound system does not quite hit the right spot making my live recording seem like a sunn o))) track or some other drone metal album, the globe visual effects thing at the center of the stage feels heavenly, not in the christian or any other religion kind of way, but in a relaxing kind of way with those cosmic themes that reminds me of tool album designs, lovecraftian cosmic horror, new age, transcendence, birth, death, stellar lunar solar things, sacred geometry and so on. aside from other matters that need not be mentioned, XYU and Zero made the night better. ending this post with the setlist: